Tag: no-latest

  • Dear Abby | Relationship with younger man reaches crucial point

    DEAR ABBY: I was with the same person (my first “everything” guy) for 23 years. A few years after the shock of a divorce, I met someone 10 years my junior. He makes me feel I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, complimenting on what my ex considered my faults, showing I am still a sexy, desirable woman and making me feel like I matter in this world.

    The problem is, despite him saying he could live without having kids (I’m almost 50), I fear it may be something he’ll regret or resent me for down the road if we stay together. His friends keep trying to fix him up with younger women “because he’d be a good dad,” and it breaks my heart to think this might be what tears us apart when we haven’t yet put a label on what we are together.

    I don’t want to hold him back from a life he may have pictured, yet it terrifies me that I’d have to see him with someone else. He stays friends with his exes, so I can imagine him expecting me to still be part of his life even if not romantically. I’m not sure my heart could handle that. Advice?

    — WISTFUL IN WASHINGTON

    DEAR WISTFUL: You are overdue for a conversation with this man in which you tell him you need to know how important having children is to him. Explain that his friends trying to fix him up with younger women “because he’d make a great dad” is unnerving, and you do not want to stand in his way if he wants to be one.

    While you are at it, tell him that standing aside and watching him build a life with someone else would be heartbreaking for you, and he shouldn’t expect that it will happen. It is the truth. He needs to hear it, and you need his answer.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is a very generous lady. She pays for nearly everything as far as food and necessities for our family when she visits twice a year. She’s a foodie, which means when she’s here, we eat at any restaurant she hasn’t tried. She’ll order nearly every appetizer on the menu and encourage each of us to order something different so we can all sample a variety of entrees. The dessert menu is no exception.

    I have dietary issues and have only recently figured out which foods don’t make me uncomfortable. I can no longer tolerate dairy, fatty foods, etc. The menu items at most restaurants contain those things. When I politely refuse certain appetizers or sides with my entrees, she becomes upset. I understand, as she does pay for everything. How can I get around not compromising my health with her generosity?

    — PERPLEXED IN COLORADO

    DEAR PERPLEXED: The conversation you must have with your mother-in-law should take place privately, and not while you are at a restaurant ordering food. You may need to have it more than once, and in advance of her visit. If necessary, explain, IN DETAIL, how severe your digestive issues are. Then, when you and the family dine out, tell the server who is taking your order exactly what you need.

  • Horoscopes: Sunday, Oct. 26, 2025

    ARIES (March 21-April 19). Is it true that when you open yourself up, the universe sends the right people in? Maybe people cross your path all the time, but you only welcome new friends when something in you is ready. Either way, you’re so ready.

    TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Your room, your rules. The more you live that, the easier it is to respect boundaries elsewhere. Clarity today comes from remembering who’s in charge of the space you’re in.

    GEMINI (May 21-June 21). A secret comes your way, and suddenly, you’re holding something fragile. What you do with it changes the dynamic. Keep it safe and people will treat you differently, with the kind of trust you cannot ask for directly.

    CANCER (June 22-July 22). The future you once wanted no longer applies, and good riddance. Your current incarnation is wiser. There’s relief in the admission that you don’t know what the future brings. Uncertainty is your power — margins wide enough to let the impossible in.

    LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). A win feels bigger because someone is watching. It’s not that you live to amuse, entertain and wow them, but it does bring you great pleasure to know this is possible, as it should. Yours is a rare gift!

    VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Today’s problem will be solved with a scientific approach. Decide which metrics are meaningful to you and start recording the data. With small, logical steps, you’ll move the action in your preferred direction and create the habits that will nurture your best self.

    LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Someone tries your patience, but you don’t lose your cool over it. You can bend the moment toward a lighter feeling. Irritation is less powerful when you find it curious, even funny. You’ll surprise yourself by laughing at what once drove you mad.

    SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re in one of those states where ideas come easily and the creative momentum is exciting, not to mention attractive to everyone around you. They’ll be fascinated as they watch and wonder what you’ll make next.

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Feelings sneak up, quick and full. Pause to trace where they started and what they are pointing to. There’s a clue in the emotion, and following it leads to the breakthrough you’ve been wanting.

    CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Instead of trying to predict and plan for every contingency, decide what matters. Remember, there is no objective right answer. If it matters to you, it matters. There’s too much good stuff happening to waste energy on things of little impact.

    AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your interest in others draws out their stories, and in the sharing, connections start to form. You don’t even have to ask particularly insightful questions. Your attention alone invites people to reveal what they most want you to know.

    PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). It sounds improbable, but it really happens like this: The wrong turn sets you free. What you thought was a mistake reveals a better path. Truly, the delay is nothing compared to the discovery.

    TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 26). Welcome to your Year of the Bold Leap. You’ll take daring steps in work which lead to promotion or even heading your own business. Relationships thrive because you go for what you want and say what you need to say. More highlights: You’ll risk rejection and come out ahead. Finances improve with structure. A presentation shows who you are — people start following and paying you for your ideas. Gemini and Libra adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 9, 18, 4, 44 and 28.

  • Horoscopes: Saturday, Oct. 25, 2025

    ARIES (March 21-April 19). Not everything valuable is advertised as such. It’s a day when you’re likely to find gems in thrift shops, odd corners of the internet, even in overheard conversations. Life is a treasure hunt because you say it is. And the treasure you find has the value you put on it.

    TAURUS (April 20-May 20). There are situations when good manners are in fact only good to the ones who made up the etiquette rules. Furthermore, compliance can be harmful when the system itself is harmful. The important thing is to stay awake and aware.

    GEMINI (May 21-June 21). As a “twin,” multiplicity is your gift today. You can hold two sides of an argument, two moods and two truths at once. Sure, it causes tension, and that’s your talent — holding that tension when nothing needs to resolve right away. It’s a form of intelligence.

    CANCER (June 22-July 22). Empathy is your superpower, but it can also wear you out. Today, protect your energy. Offer kindness without absorbing every ripple of someone else’s pain. Witnessing is enough. And sometimes, stepping back is the truest act of love.

    LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You don’t have everything you need to pull off the plan, and that’s the whole point. If you had everything, it wouldn’t be worth taking on. It’s about what you learn and create to get yourself to the finish line.

    VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Even if you understood why people behave the way they do, it wouldn’t change what’s happening. Sometimes people are just plain confusing. Don’t worry if you can’t figure them out; you don’t need to. Today’s situation will smooth over on its own.

    LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). For you, it’s not about being correct, important or powerful; it’s about being harmonious. So while you have a definite perspective, you’re willing to keep that on the inside while you express yourself like an instrument able to blend your notes beautifully with the orchestra.

    SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Don’t discount the quiet experiment. There’s magic in tinkering. The innovation doesn’t have to be radical to be impactful. A subtle shift, a tweak, a surprising angle that no one else thought to try — it may turn out to be your most revolutionary act.

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Novelty isn’t always found in new places; sometimes it’s hidden in old ones. A familiar street revisited with fresh attention will reveal things you’ve walked past a hundred times. Today, discovery will be more about perception than distance.

    CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Don’t confuse speed with progress. If you rush, the scenery blurs, which can be a fun effect, but it also causes confusion. For instance, you can’t read the signs, you can’t turn safely, you won’t remember much because nothing stands out… so just slow down. Way down.

    AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Secrets are tricky currency. Withholding can feel powerful, but disclosure creates intimacy. The question is not whether to tell, but why. If the reason brings connection instead of control, it’s probably worth sharing.

    PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Dreams are a language your psyche uses when waking words fall short. Though it won’t help to interpret them literally, it may very well change things to notice the emotions they stir. The mood is the message, pointing you to what needs tending.

    TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 25). Welcome to your Year of Surprising Applause. The thing you considered a hobby suddenly wins attention. Your offhanded comments are accepted as wisdom and rightly so. Lead with your playfulness and ideas become projects, projects become profitable. More highlights: a physical routine that makes you glow, a big check that arrives at just the right moment and a relationship that will be glorious music your days dance to. Sagittarius and Gemini adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 6, 17, 22, 34 and 42.

  • Dear Abby | Boyfriend’s adult daughter seems to be calling the shots

    DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man for 2 1/2 years. He’s divorced; I am a widow. We get along well and enjoy many activities together. The problem is his 31-year-old daughter. She is very rude and unkind to me. He tells me it is not me; she would treat any female companion of his this way.

    With the holidays approaching, I spoke to him about what our plans will be. During the past two years, his ex-wife and daughter have controlled most of the get-togethers, saying that I was not invited to join them for a Christmas Eve dinner. I don’t want to be controlling like his ex and daughter, but I would like us to be part of the plans as a couple.

    At this point, he’s unable to decide what we will do. He’s trying to mend the relationship with his daughter, but I’m pretty sure it won’t improve until she’s ready to accept her dad having another partner in his life.

    I want this relationship to work out. We are talking about living together and possibly getting married, but I’m not sure if we should consider this until his situation with his daughter improves. Any advice?

    — SEEKING INCLUSION IN CALIFORNIA

    DEAR SEEKING: Your gentleman friend’s daughter should not have been allowed to treat any woman he was seeing disrespectfully. His mistake has been ceding his power to someone who is emotionally immature and unwilling to see her father in a happy, healthy relationship.

    Give him a deadline to decide how he is going to spend the holidays. If it isn’t with you, take a vacation at that time. You are intelligent to put the brakes on living together until he resolves this issue, preferably with input from a licensed mental health professional.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: While the saying goes “no man is an island,” I beg to differ, as I am married to one. My husband has little to no patience with anyone, family included. He has always been negative, and as he grows older, it has grown 10 times worse. Over the past 15 years, my husband has alienated most of his (our) friends to the point where he no longer has any contact with them. He literally walks away from them in public.

    While I know a lot of people are super narcissistic today, I feel you have to put up with some of today’s BS. I’m not super social myself, but his rudeness has gotten out of hand. Our social life is nil. It may be a case of depression (he’s on a multitude of medications). It’s wearing me down, and I’m afraid I’m sinking down with him. Is there a solution?

    — GOING DOWN, TOO

    DEAR GOING: Because your husband has mental health issues, this should be discussed with a doctor. A different medication and talk therapy might help him if he would consent to it. Please consider consulting someone for yourself to help you decide if you want to spend the rest of your life being this isolated. Nothing will change if you don’t become proactive.

  • Social Security recipients get a 2.8% cost-of-living boost in 2026, average of $56 per month

    Social Security recipients get a 2.8% cost-of-living boost in 2026, average of $56 per month

    WASHINGTON — The Social Security Administration’s annual cost-of-living adjustment will go up by 2.8% in 2026, translating to an average increase of more than $56 for retirees every month, agency officials said Friday.

    The benefits increase for nearly 71 million Social Security recipients will go into effect beginning in January. And increased payments to nearly 7.5 million people receiving Supplemental Security Income will begin on Dec. 31.

    Friday’s announcement was meant to be made last week but was delayed because of the federal government shutdown.

    The cost-of-living adjustment, or COLA, for retirees and disabled beneficiaries is financed by payroll taxes collected from workers and their employers, up to a certain annual salary, which is slated to increase to $184,500 in 2026, from $176,100 in 2025.

    Recipients received a 2.5% cost-of-living boost in 2025 and a 3.2% increase in their benefits in 2024, after a historically large 8.7% benefit increase in 2023, brought on by record 40-year-high inflation.

    The smaller increase for 2026 reflects moderating inflation. The agency will notify recipients of their new benefit amount by mail in early December.

    Some seniors say the increase isn’t enough

    Some seniors say the cost-of-living adjustment won’t help much in their ability to pay for their daily expenses. Linda Deas, an 80-year-old Florence, South Carolina, resident said “it does not match the affordability crisis we are having right now.”

    Deas, a retired information systems network operations specialist, moved to South Carolina from New York in 2022 to be closer to family. She says her monthly rent has increased by $400 in the past two years.

    She listed other items that have become more expensive for her in the past two years, including auto insurance and food. “If you have been into the supermarkets lately you will notice how prices are going up, not down,” she said.

    Deas is not alone in feeling that costs are getting out of control. Polling from the AARP shows that older Americans are increasingly struggling to keep up in today’s economy. The poll states that only 22% of Americans over age 50 agree that a COLA of right around 3% for Social Security recipients is enough to keep up with rising prices, while 77% disagree. That sentiment is consistent across political party affiliations, according to the AARP.

    In Deas’ case, the MIT Living Wage Calculator estimates that an adult living alone in Florence, South Carolina, would spend per year $10,184 for housing, $3,053 for medical expenses and $3,839 for food.

    AARP CEO Myechia Minter-Jordan said the COLA is “a lifeline of independence and dignity, for tens of millions of older Americans,” but even with the annual inflation-gauged boost in income, “older adults still face challenges covering basic expenses.”

    Social Security Administration Commissioner Frank Bisignano said in a statement Friday that the annual cost-of-living adjustment “is one way we are working to make sure benefits reflect today’s economic realities and continue to provide a foundation of security.”

    Emerson Sprick, the Bipartisan Policy Center’s director of retirement and labor policy, said in a statement that cost-of-living increases “can’t solve all the financial challenges households face or all the shortcomings of the program.”

    The agency has been in turmoil in recent months

    The latest COLA announcement comes as the Social Security Administration has been navigating almost a year of turmoil, including the termination of thousands of workers as part of the Trump administration’s efforts to shrink the size of the federal workforce. Trump administration officials have also made statements they later walked back that raised concerns about the future of the program.

    Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said in July that the Republican administration was committed to protecting Social Security hours after he said in an interview that a new children’s savings program President Donald Trump signed into law “is a back door for privatizing Social Security.”

    And in September, Bisignano had to walk back comments that the agency is considering raising the retirement age to shore up Social Security. “Raising the retirement age is not under consideration at this time by the Administration,” Bisignano said at the time in an e-mailed statement to The Associated Press.

    “I think everything’s being considered, will be considered,” Bisignano said in the statement when asked whether raising the retirement age was a possibility to maintain the old age program’s solvency.

    Efforts to boost benefits for seniors

    In addition, the Social Security Administration faces a looming bankruptcy date if it is not addressed by Congress. The June 2025 Social Security and Medicare trustees’ report states that Social Security’s trust funds, which cover old age and disability recipients, will be unable to pay full benefits beginning in 2034. Then, Social Security would only be able to pay 81% of benefits.

    Social Security benefits were last reformed roughly 40 years ago, when the federal government raised the eligibility age for the program from 65 to 67.

    While a permanent solution for shoring up the benefits program has not been passed into law, both the Trump and Biden administrations have recently signed into law new benefits for retirees, which are expected to boost their finances.

    The Trump administration, as part of Republicans’ tax and spending bill, gave tax relief to many seniors through a temporary tax deduction for seniors aged 65 and over, which applies to all income — not just Social Security. However, those who won’t be able to claim the deduction include the lowest-income seniors who already don’t pay taxes on Social Security, those who choose to claim their benefits before they reach age 65 and those above a defined income threshold.

    Additionally, former President Joe Biden in 2024 repealed two federal policies — the Windfall Elimination Provision and the Government Pension Offset — that previously limited Social Security payouts for roughly 2.8 million people, including largely former public workers.

    These measures have accelerated the insolvency of the old-age benefits program.

    Sprick at the Bipartisan Policy Center said “there have been longstanding questions about whether benefits are adequate for low-income seniors, which should inspire urgency among policymakers to work toward broader reforms instead of ignoring Social Security’s long-term solvency.”

  • Letters to the Editor | Oct. 24, 2025

    Letters to the Editor | Oct. 24, 2025

    A $230M shakedown

    Donald Trump first extorted pro bono money from law firms, then extorted the return of grant money to universities, then extorted tariffs from foreign countries, and will now use a compromised U.S. Department of Justice to extort recovery of personal legal expenses. Legal expenses that were questionably covered by campaign contributions and used for legal maneuvering to prevent indictments from being heard in courts. Trump claimed to be innocent of the indictment charges, but went to great expense to prevent the cases from being heard by the courts, where he would have ample opportunity to disprove the charges. As far as funds recovered by the Justice Department going to a charity, please recall the Trump concept for a charity was the defunct Donald J. Trump Foundation, which was determined to have laundered money for improper personal, business, and political use. Trump has a history of using the courts for suspect personal profit. Trump will continue to playact the part of the Mafia don that he could never achieve in real life, and to flaunt illegal behavior until members of Congress grow spines and adhere to the intent of the Constitution.

    Craig McBride, Coatesville

    Seize closed properties

    Watching Delaware County wrangle with a for-profit health company about how to resolve overdue taxes is like watching Godzilla vs. Kong in a wrestling match in which both creatures die.

    The governor and Orphans Court need to take decisive action to relieve these assets in the public interest from private ownership in order to preserve whatever equity may be left.

    The investor game play needs to simply forfeit whatever potential gain was sought, just as the public has lost a significant asset through this gamble for private gain.

    Action for the public benefit now is needed. Let investors see how much it will cost to fund their attorney to continue this dispute. It’s the proper equipoise now that services for the community are depreciated to zero.

    D. Druckman, Baltimore, ddruck@gmail.com

    Where are they going to go?

    The study that was the basis of a recent Inquirer article, identifying racial disparities in the quality of sports facilities across our neighborhoods, confirmed what nonprofits and youth leaders have long known about access to opportunities for young people in our city.

    The Greater Philadelphia YMCA is one of many organizations working to fill those gaps. Our branches and outreach sites meet kids where they are by providing programming designed to reach as many young people as possible. From soccer clinics, swim lessons, and gymnastics instruction to summer camps, technology training, and college readiness courses, we offer safe spaces, mentors, and chances to grow. No child is ever turned away. We also employ more than 1,400 teenagers and young adults annually, providing a variety of jobs and leadership opportunities.

    Every day, I’m inspired by our branches and partners who are making a difference in our communities. However, this study demonstrates that in order to reach more kids, we must invest not only in our neighborhoods, but in the organizations doing this work.

    If we believe what the research is telling us — that youth sports have the power to build stronger, safer communities — then doesn’t every child in every community deserve a place to play?

    Shaun Elliott, president and CEO, Greater Philadelphia YMCA

    Sloppy signage

    Recently, I watched eight city workers using handheld roller brushes to repaint some crosswalks on Germantown Avenue with four big Streets Department trucks standing by; probably never seen such inefficiency nor such inept painting. A private contractor would be fired, stricken from the bid list, and not paid.

    Their idea of safe traffic control, too, was chaotic. No traffic control hand paddles, nor caution lights, nor warning signs were used. Two confused men barked and waved their bare hands at each other to hold traffic, or to let the cars pass in the visual confusion of the gang of painters at the intersections, making a mess of the painting as cars drove through the crosswalks.

    Instead of using the reflective highway tapes with straight edges that one worker could lay down, the Streets Department used eight workers for what a middle school art teacher would award an “F” for sloppy painting. Nothing squared, lines messy, corners not aligned, no pride in the work, and the painted guide markers were left visible where the painters did not cover them.

    OK, yes, I agree completely that this is clearly very small potatoes in the grand scheme of our lives, when we have illiterate high school “graduates,” rampant crime, smash and grabs, gang racing on our roadways, all tolerated by our mayors and city councils, and we have a very dangerous law passed by this Council that prevents police from stopping drivers for many traffic offenses. However, the unacceptable workman’s standards to merely repaint a crosswalk are a cultural and departmental indication that no one is setting an example, and no one is demanding that we citizens/taxpayers receive what we pay high taxes for, in our own city, for heaven’s sake.

    We should do much better; we are all able to do so much better … if our mayor, City Council, and department heads would raise the bar higher, instead of gleefully raising salaries and taxes higher each year for no benefit to taxpayers.

    Gardner A. Cadwalader, Philadelphia

    Model student

    I thank Aiden Wilkins, the 8-year-old who is the youngest ever student at Ursinus College, for coming to my rescue. People think I am crazy when I say that we can have a quality education system, where students are self-directed — and not dependent on schools.

    Then came Aiden, who entered Ursinus College this semester, studying to be a pediatric neurosurgeon. A reporter asked him who his teacher was prior to college. Aiden replied, “I taught myself.” The reporter then asked Aiden if he was worried. Aiden replied that he is only worried that he may not fit in the seat.

    As we search around the world for models that may deliver a better educational experience, isn’t it about time we listened to the children? And when we come up with all kinds of excuses why our current education models don’t fit children in our classrooms, isn’t it ironic that the one worry of little Aiden is his fitting in the seat?

    Leon Williams, Philadelphia

    One of a kind

    So often when someone passes, we almost automatically blurt out, “He will be missed!” The pioneering journalist Michael Days, who led the Daily News and served as a senior editor at The Inquirer, will really be missed because of his ability to handle the superdifficult job of being positioned between the legitimate concerns of the Black community regarding The Inquirer’s coverage and answering to the folks who paid his salary. Although he always would put a positive spin on whatever the crisis of the day was, I’m sure it took a toll on him.

    I always felt very close to Michael over the decades of knowing him, no matter how our professional responsibilities changed. He was always accessible, warm, and supportive. He was genuinely a friend, and more importantly, he was a friend to his community as well as the broader community. We thank his family for sharing him with us.

    Karen Warrington, Philadelphia

    Join the conversation: Send letters to letters@inquirer.com. Limit length to 150 words and include home address and day and evening phone number. Letters run in The Inquirer six days a week on the editorial pages and online.

  • Horoscopes: Friday, Oct. 24, 2025

    ARIES (March 21-April 19). Just because the door is stuck doesn’t mean it’s locked. Jiggle it. The first pushback you get is just the price of entry. What’s uncomfortable at first is necessary and will build the character you need to take on more of the journey.

    TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Whatever you feel, it enables you to recognize it in others. That recognition builds empathy and softens the walls between people. However you feel today, it will enrich you, teach you, help you bond and clear the scene for new creation.

    GEMINI (May 21-June 21). What isn’t said, the pauses, the spaces between details — that’s where imagination lives. The magic lies in the gaps. It applies to well-told stories, steeped in mystery. Also, in relationships that leave room for wonder and spontaneity.

    CANCER (June 22-July 22). Sometimes it’s tricky to teach people how to treat you. You don’t have to be perfect at it. If all you do is move away from what drains you and toward what delights you, that will make a difference in your life and relationships.

    LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Today’s success secret: treat your energy like data. Track what’s paid work, what’s chosen generosity, what’s play. Knowing which is which lets you balance fairly, instead of unconsciously giving away too much.

    VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’re drawn to the edges today — the ideas that challenge, people who surprise, places that feel outside the ordinary. It’s here you’ll find the spark that invigorates you, reminding you that wonder thrives where comfort ends.

    LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It’s not wrong to want. Desire gives you a direction. It pulls you forward like a magnet. You may not know how to get what you want, but naming the wanting is the first brave act of creation.

    SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Most breakthroughs start as bad ideas. Don’t censor yourself too quickly. The messy drafts are the ones with great originality. The silly questions bond you to the others. The far-fetched notions inspire. These are the stepping stones to greatness.

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your mind is hungry for novelty. Not all novelty nourishes. But you’re pretty amazing at distinguishing between distraction and discovery, which you’ll have to basically all day long today. Just remember: One fills time, the other expands you.

    CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You may not think of someone as a competitor, but they may think of you this way. Do they give you the chance to shine? Or do they focus in on lesser attributes or even flaws? Do they seem afraid of what will happen when the attention shifts from them to you?

    AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It’s been a while since you experienced serenity and tranquility for a significant stretch. You deserve this, and yet such moments will not come unless you plan for it. Carve out this time for future-you and protect it.

    PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Leadership may put you in first in the line, but not always, and anyway it’s not about leading the charge; it’s about leading the way. The first to laugh, the first to forgive, the first to try… these are the moves people will take their cues from today.

    TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 24). Welcome to your Year of Bold Brilliance. It’s not that you’re loud or do any PR or marketing; it’s that your work is so outstanding it has unmistakable impact, bringing the results that mean most to you. Bursts of brilliance come through your routines; a morning walk, a kitchen experiment, a late-night brainstorm. More highlights: Small rebellions add up to freedom. You’re handed a leadership role without asking for it. A new friend feels like a soulmate. Virgo and Aries adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 3, 11, 28, 36 and 45.

  • Dear Abby | Sister halts contact with mom’s side of the family

    DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my uncle made a controversial comment about a social issue in my mom’s family group text. The issue was important enough to my sister that she requested discussion about it cease because she didn’t agree with what they were saying. When the discussion continued, she decided to cut Mom’s family out of her life, taking a cue from my brother-in-law, who had made a similar decision about his own family.

    My wife and I bought a house and decided to throw our first party there, inviting both sides of my family. My sister still refuses to be anywhere near Mom’s family. She said she wouldn’t be coming, even though I also invited Dad’s family, with whom she gets along well.

    Although my political and social views align with my sister’s, I am also family-oriented, so this has been tough on me and my parents. I’m sad that Mom’s family may never see my sister again because one or two bad apples spoiled the barrel for her. I wish this could be resolved before it’s too late. Do you think that’s possible?

    — FAMILY-ORIENTED IN ILLINOIS

    DEAR FAMILY-ORIENTED: I don’t know why the offensive conversation didn’t stop when your sister asked. Clearly, the comments your uncle made were so deeply offensive to her that she no longer wishes to have any contact with him. Is this “fixable”? Only if one of them is willing to give, and from what you have written, that doesn’t seem likely. From now on, if you want a family gathering, be prepared to host one without Sis.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: I’m a man who has worked for a large company for many years. I recently became acquainted with a newly hired woman who is beautiful, smart, funny and compassionate. We talk almost daily, and I’m becoming romantically interested in her. From her behavior, she may feel similarly. I’d like to take things to the next level by inviting her to lunch.

    There is one major issue: I’m in my mid-50s; she’s in her early 20s. I’m not sure if she’s aware of the large age difference, but I’m sure she realizes I’m considerably older. If we do decide to pursue a relationship, I know there will be comments and jokes from our co-workers, which I can deal with, but is a relationship wise considering our age difference? I have never been interested in a woman this young before. She is special to me. People say age is just a number. Is it?

    — OLD ROMANTIC FOOL

    DEAR OLD ROMANTIC: I am less concerned about the difference in your ages as I am the number of years you have been at your job and whether there may be an “imbalance of power” between yourself and the new hire. If there is a policy against fraternization in your workplace, your job or hers could be at risk. If there isn’t, then it wouldn’t be out of line to invite the young woman to lunch. If anything bothers her about the age difference (IF the relationship progresses), I’m sure it will come to light.

  • Vance criticizes Israel’s parliament vote on West Bank annexation, says the move was an ‘insult’

    Vance criticizes Israel’s parliament vote on West Bank annexation, says the move was an ‘insult’

    JERUSALEM — U.S. Vice President JD Vance criticized on Thursday a symbolic vote in Israel’s parliament the previous day about annexing the occupied West Bank, saying it amounted to an “insult” and went against the Trump administration policies.

    Hard-liners in the Israeli parliament had narrowly passed a preliminary vote in support of annexing parts of the West Bank — an apparent attempt to embarrass Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu while Vance was still in the country.

    The bill, which required only a simple majority of lawmakers present in the house on Wednesday, passed with a 25-24 vote. But it was unlikely to pass multiple rounds of voting to become law or win a majority in the 120-seat parliament. Netanyahu, who is opposed to it, also has tools to delay or defeat it.

    Before departing Israel, Vance also unveiled new details about U.S. plans for Gaza, saying he expected reconstruction to begin soon in some “Hamas-free” areas of the territory. But he warned that rebuilding the territory after a devastating two-year war could take years.

    “The hope is to rebuild Rafah over the next two to three years and theoretically you could have half a million people live (there),” he said, speaking of the strip’s southernmost city.

    That would account for about a quarter of Gaza’s population of roughly 2 million, 90% of whom were displaced from their homes during the war. Out of every 10 buildings that stood in Gaza prewar, eight are either damaged or flattened. An estimated cost of rebuilding Gaza is about $53 billion, according to the World Bank, the U.N. and the European Union.

    Vance says the vote was an ‘insult’

    The Israeli parliament’s vote has stirred widespread condemnation, with over a dozen countries — including Egypt, Qatar and Saudi Arabia — rebuking it in a joint statement that called all Israeli settlements in the West Bank a violation of international law.

    Netanyahu’s office said in a statement that the “vote on annexation was a deliberate political provocation by the opposition to sow discord.”

    Netanyahu is struggling to stave off early elections as cracks grow more apparent between factions in Israel’s right-wing parties, some of whom were upset over the ceasefire and the security sacrifices it required of Israel.

    Vance said that if the Knesset’s vote was a “political stunt, then it is a very stupid political stunt.”

    “I personally take some insult to it,” Vance said. “The policy of the Trump administration is that the West Bank will not be annexed by Israel.”

    The deputy Palestinian ambassador to the United Nations, Majed Bamya, told the U.N. Security Council on Thursday that Palestinians “appreciate the clear message” the Trump administration has sent in opposition to annexation.

    While many members of Netanyahu’s coalition, including his Likud Party, support annexation, they have backed off those calls since U.S. President Donald Trump said last month that he opposes such a move.

    The Palestinians seek the West Bank and the Gaza Strip, captured by Israel in the 1967 Mideast war, for a future independent state. Israeli annexation of the West Bank would all but bury hopes for a two-state solution between Israel and the Palestinians — the outcome supported by most of the world.

    Analysts like Amichai Cohen, a senior fellow at the Israel Democracy Institute, say that a “de-facto annexation of very large parts” of the West Bank is already underway, referring to the growing number of Israelis living in settlements in the Palestinian territory — even without any law supporting annexation.

    Intense U.S. push toward peace

    Earlier this week, Vance announced the opening of a civilian military coordination center in southern Israel where some 200 U.S. troops are working alongside the Israeli military and delegations from other countries planning the stabilization and reconstruction of Gaza.

    The United States is seeking support from other allies, especially Gulf Arab nations, to create an international stabilization force to be deployed to Gaza and train a Palestinian force.

    “We’d like to see Palestinian police forces in Gaza that are not Hamas and that are going to do a good job, but those still have to be trained and equipped,” U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio said ahead of his trip to Israel.

    Rubio, who was meeting with Netanyahu on Thursday evening, has also criticized Israeli far-right lawmakers’ effort to push for the annexation of the West Bank.

    Israeli media referred to the nonstop parade of American officials visiting to ensure Israel holds up its side of the fragile ceasefire as “Bibi-sitting.” The term, utilizing Netanyahu’s nickname of Bibi, refers to an old campaign ad when Netanyahu positioned himself as the “Bibi-sitter” whom voters could trust with their kids.

    Gaza’s dire need for medical care and aid

    In the first medical evacuation since the ceasefire began on Oct. 10, the head of the World Health Organization said Thursday the group has evacuated 41 critical patients and 145 companions out of the Gaza Strip.

    In a statement posted to X, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus called on nations to show solidarity and help some 15,000 patients who are still waiting for approval to receive medical care outside Gaza.

    His calls were echoed by an official with the U.N. Population Fund who on Wednesday described the “sheer devastation” that he witnessed on his most recent travel to Gaza, saying that there is no such thing as a “normal birth in Gaza now.”

    Andrew Saberton, an executive director at UNFPA, told reporters how difficult the agency’s work has become due to the lack of functioning or even standing health care facilities.

    Another major challenge since the ceasefire began has been getting enough aid into Gaza — and distributed — to the meet the huge demand.

    “We expected Gaza to be flooded with aid the moment the ceasefire began. But that’s not what we’re seeing,” said Bushra Khalidi, who oversees the Palestinian territories division at Oxfam, a nonprofit focused on global poverty.

    More crossings into Gaza need to be opened in order to allow in more trucks, said Antoine Renard, head of the World Food Program in the Palestinian territories.

    “With only two crossings that are open, you are facing clearly congestion,” he said.

    The WFP has 36 distribution centers operating in Gaza, and aims to increase that to 145. Since Oct 11, the U.N. tracking system has recorded 949 aid trucks that were offloaded in Gaza.

  • Trump backs off planned surge of federal agents into San Francisco after talking to the mayor

    Trump backs off planned surge of federal agents into San Francisco after talking to the mayor

    ALAMEDA, Calif. — President Donald Trump said Thursday that he’s backing off a planned surge of federal agents into San Francisco to quell crime after speaking to the mayor and several prominent business leaders who said they’re working hard to clean up the city.

    Trump had been threatening to send the National Guard to San Francisco, a move Mayor Daniel Lurie and Gov. Gavin Newsom said was unnecessary because crime is on the decline. Separately, U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents began arriving at a Coast Guard base in the region earlier Thursday for a possible ramp up of immigration enforcement, a move that drew several hundred protesters.

    It was not clear if the president was canceling a National Guard deployment or calling off immigration enforcement by CBP agents. At his news conference, Lurie said he could not clarify and could only repeat what the president had told him. Lurie said Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem “reaffirmed” Trump’s commitment on Thursday morning. DHS oversees CBP agents as well as U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

    “The Federal Government was preparing to ‘surge’ San Francisco, California, on Saturday, but friends of mine who live in the area called last night to ask me not to go forward with the surge,” Trump posted on social media. “I spoke to Mayor Lurie last night and he asked, very nicely, that I give him a chance to see if he can turn it around.”

    Specifically, Trump said he heard from Salesforce CEO Mark Benioff and Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang. He said the federal government could handle crime better than city leaders, and he indicated he could still send agents in the future.

    At an afternoon news conference, Lurie said he welcomes the city’s “continued partnership” with the Drug Enforcement Agency and other federal authorities to get illegal narcotics off the streets and contribute to San Francisco’s falling crime rates.

    “But having the military and militarized immigration enforcement in our city will hinder our recovery,” the mayor said. Trump’s assertions of out-of-control crime in the city of roughly 830,000 have baffled local and state leaders, who point to statistics showing that many crimes are at record lows.

    Newsom’s office said on X: “Trump has finally, for once, listened to reason — and heard what we have been saying from the beginning. The Bay Area is a shining example of what makes California so special, and any attempt to erode our progress would damage the work we’ve done.”

    Protesters assembled just after dawn at Coast Guard Island in Alameda, California, where CBP agents were arriving before Trump made his remarks. Several hundred people stood outside the facility, with many singing hymns and carrying signs saying, “Protect our neighbors” and “No ICE or troops in the Bay.”

    Police used at least one flash-bang grenade to clear a handful of demonstrators from the entrance as CBP vehicles drove onto the base. Organizers urged protesters to remain peaceful, as a line of Coast Guard officers in helmets watched from just outside the entrance.

    Protester Gala King participated in an interfaith vigil against the federal crackdown and in support of immigrants.

    “The Bay Area is a beautiful place full of diversity, and we are here to protect that,” King said. “Our faith traditions, our interfaith traditions, call on us to stand on the side of justice, to stand on the side of those that are most marginalized, that are most targeted right now.”

    Coast Guard Island is an artificial island formed in 1913, and the Coast Guard first established a base there in 1926. The island is owned by the federal government and is not open to the general public, so escorts or specific government ID cards are required for visitors. The Coast Guard is part of the Department of Homeland Security.

    Trump has deployed the Guard to Washington, D.C., and Memphis, Tennessee, to help fight what he says is rampant crime. Los Angeles was the first city where Trump deployed the Guard, arguing it was necessary to protect federal buildings and agents as protesters fought back against immigration arrests.

    He has also said they are needed in Chicago and Portland, Oregon. Lawsuits from Democratic officials in both cities have so far blocked troops from going onto city streets.