Philadelphia local news, sports, jobs, cars, homes

Tag: no-latest

  • Dear Abby | Family reenters school and workplace after tragedy

    DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my oldest child died in a horrific car accident. Our family went into a sort of hibernation for several months, mourning and trying to deal with the sadness of the situation.

    Now the kids are back in school, and I’m starting to work again. I’m interacting with a lot of people I haven’t seen since before the accident who maybe don’t know what happened. How do I respond when they ask perfectly reasonable questions, like “What’s new?” or “How was your break?” I want to be honest and let people know I’m not really OK. But I also want to avoid “trauma dumping,” or providing too much information they aren’t ready for.

    The full truth is a lot for anyone to hear. If I say something like, “We’ve had some family issues that have been hard,” people tend to assume I’m getting a divorce or have cancer, which changes how they interact with me. If I tell the truth they almost always start crying, which makes me cry, and then the situation is derailed. What can I say that is true, and that also indicates they don’t really want to know more?

    — SURVIVOR IN TENNESSEE

    DEAR SURVIVOR: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the tragic loss of your first-born child. If someone asks what’s new or how you are, respond, “We’ve been through some trials and tribulations, but we’re moving forward.” If you are questioned further, simply say, “I’d rather not go into detail right now,” and change the subject.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my grandson, “Levi,” 23, told his father (“Alex”) and me that he wants no contact with us. Levi and his dad had an argument when Alex asked for help paying the utilities, since Levi and his girlfriend live rent-free in Alex’s house. Alex has tried to reach out to Levi through texting, but his texts are ignored. I tried sending texts and letters but received no response either.

    My son is not perfect, but he has always been a loving and devoted father. Levi means the world to him, and this estrangement is causing Alex physical and mental health problems. I have always doted on my grandson and been warm and kind to his girlfriend, so we don’t understand why he turned on me, too. Should I keep trying to reach out, or accept that Levi does not want me in his life? Please advise.

    — DISTRESSED GRANDMOTHER

    DEAR GRANDMOTHER: Levi may be a young adult, but he’s acting like a spoiled child. His father’s request that Levi contribute to the cost of the utilities in the home where he had been living rent-free wasn’t unreasonable. I can only wonder where he and his girlfriend are now living and presumably getting a better deal.

    Stop trying to reach out only to be rejected. When Levi grows up a little, or needs something else from you and his father, he will show up in your lives again. Right now, because Alex isn’t doing well, concentrate on your son’s health.

  • Horoscopes: Monday, Oct. 20, 2025

    ARIES (March 21-April 19). Caring for others is a big part of your life. Sometimes, this seems to lead to getting ground down by stress. Stress is not your identity; it’s just a habit your body and mind learned to keep up. Let it move through you as breath does: inhale, exhale.

    TAURUS (April 20-May 20). When the butterfly of happiness flits past, just remember that every emotion has its merits. Even sadness can be a beautiful reminder of our humanity, which deepens our experience and shows us we’re capable of love and attachment.

    GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Because thank-you notes are rare these days, writing one stands out and makes you memorable. The same principle applies more broadly: You’ll mix thoughtfulness, gratitude and initiative, and make a strong and favorable impression.

    CANCER (June 22-July 22). The number of moving parts is what makes this part of the story interesting. It’s also a bit stressful since you are dealing with so much that is out of your control. State what you want, step aside, and let things work themselves out.

    LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). When it feels like no one is listening, remember the value of listening to yourself. Many never hear the song of their own soul. Keep tuning in, and yours will grow so strong and clear that it can’t be ignored.

    VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Relationships are like feelings: none is more or less correct than another. Each is a unique, unfolding dynamic. Some people are easier to be around, but that doesn’t determine the value of the bond.

    LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you want to be a part of what’s happening in the room, your approach matters the most — think tone over technical skill. It all starts with noticing what’s needed and matching your attitude to the environment. When in doubt, default to kindness.

    SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Passion doesn’t have to be dramatic to be profound. It doesn’t have to be big to be effective. Even your most secret desire will change you from the inside out. When you change, your circumstances are next.

    SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). When approaching people with something new, you’re likely to hit obstacles. People say no. It’s awkward and others see this. There are false starts that can be embarrassing too. But this is all part of the natural friction of beginnings. Keep going. It gets better.

    CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Ambition is a fire that must be tended carefully. Too much fuel at once burns you out; too little and you sputter. Today’s work is to strike balance: steady logs on the fire, not a bonfire.

    AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The stars are giving you a pep talk about resilience. It’s in the way the nature around you keeps regenerating, the children grow, the tide goes out and comes back in. New oxygen is everywhere.

    PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You’ve already proven your strength. You wouldn’t be where you are if you hadn’t powered through tough situations with determination. Don’t forget that track record. You deserve acknowledgment for it.

    TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Oct. 20). Welcome to your Year of Unscripted Adventures. You’ll stumble into scenes you couldn’t have planned, like the wrong turn that leads to a right person, the pet that chooses you, and/or a surprise reunion that gets you dreaming in a whole new direction. More highlights: a stretch of financial mastery that could subsidize your grandest plan, laughter in serious projects that points to a soul connection, and a string of lucky “coincidences.” Gemini and Capricorn adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 13, 27, 5, 41 and 22.