Adam Cesare knew by the third date that if he and his future wife were going to end up together, he was going to have to start calling sub sandwiches hoagies. “She’s a Philly lifer,” the New York-born, USA Today best-selling author said. Sure enough, after graduating from college in Boston, the couple relocated to Philadelphia, where Cesare threw himself into the city’s film and literary scenes. “I took to Philly like a fish to water,” Cesare said. That was 15 years ago.
Fast forward to today, and the former high school English teacher is an acclaimed local author with more than a dozen horror novels under his belt, including the popular Clown in a Cornfield series, the first of which was adapted for the big screen and released in theaters this past summer. Now, Cesare is gearing up to release Clown in a Cornfield 4: Lights! Camera! Frendo!
When he’s not busy editing his manuscript, Cesare still loves to explore Philly’s extensive film and lit scenes, roaming through used bookstores or catching a flick at PhilaMOCA.
Here’s how Adam Cesare would spend a perfect day in Philadelphia.
9 a.m.
First, I would make sure it’s not a Sunday because I want to go to Beiler’s Doughnuts in Reading Terminal, and it’s closed on Sundays.
11 a.m.
After Beiler’s, I’d pop over to Old City to go to The Book Trader. I could name-drop all the current new bookstores, but there’s something about used bookstores that I really like. I’d swing by the comics shop, Brave New Worlds, because it’s right next door, then I’d head to Mostly Books on Bainbridge. I love that place. It’s great because they have a pretty decent VHS, DVD, and Blu-ray selection too, so I’ll get a few movies.
I might also pop into the Philly AIDS Thrift. It’s fun to walk around. They have a good book section. It’s mostly general fiction. I like their physical media section too. You can get the DVD or VHS of every television series that’s been kicked off Netflix.
1 p.m.
For lunch, I’m definitely going to Monster Vegan. It is what it sounds like. It is a really good vegan restaurant themed on monsters. They play clips from Count Yorga and stuff on the walls. They do events, too. I once saw Lloyd Kaufman present Class of Nuke ‘Em High.
3 p.m.
After lunch, I might drive over to Manayunk to check out Thrillerdelphia. It’s a new bookstore that exclusively sells horror and thrillers. They just opened two months ago, and I did one of their first events. They’re really nice people, and they have a great selection.
5 p.m.
It’s time to beam back down to South Street for dinner and a movie. On a perfect day, I’m going to Royal Izakaya, a Japanese restaurant I like to go to on my birthday. Since money is no object on my perfect day, I’ll order the omakase. Let the chef decide.
7 p.m.
There are so many good places to see a movie in Philly. There’s the Philadelphia Film Society. There’s also PhilaMOCA. It’s probably my favorite place to go. They work closely with Exhumed Films, which is a group of film fans who screen 35mm and 16mm films from their private collection in local theaters. They do a lot of work with The Colonial in Phoenixville as well.
The last time I went to PhilaMOCA, I saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and John Cameron Mitchell was there doing a live commentary, which was sick. They do really cool stuff like that all the time.
The Rachels met each other when they were 5 and 6 years old, and they met Lizzy Seitel — who would come to be known as one of the Rachels despite her name — in middle school.
They all lived in the D.C. area, and one weekend they took part in a retreat with Cheder, a progressive Jewish community in the area. In Seitel’s recollection, they listened to Ani DiFranco, went skinny-dipping, and talked about their fears.
“It was just a really crazy, beautiful, life-affirming teenage moment,” Seitel, now 38, said.
It also marked the beginning of a very long friendship.
Soon after, Rachel (Luban), Rachel (Neuschatz), and Seitel began celebrating winter solstice together with a witchy ritual drawn from a pagan book. In the quarter-century since, they’ve never missed the solstice.
Rachel Luban (from left), Lizzy Seitel, and Rachel Neuschatz, pictured in college in 2009.
The Rachels went to the same college; Lizzy went elsewhere.Then, after living apart for some years in their 20s, they decided to settle down, together. By that point, Seitel had married Serge Levin(he grew up in a communal house in Rostov-on-Don, Russia, and was game for an alternative arrangement) and was pregnant with their first child.
In 2022 the four bought a giant old stone house in Mount Airy, where they now live communally. They have a shared bank account for the mortgage, house maintenance, and utilities, along with a shared backyard, basement, porch, and Google calendar.
The Rachels, who both have romantic partners living elsewhere, coparent a dog. Seitel and Levin’s two young children call the Rachels Aunt Lu and Aunt Nu.
The following, as told to Zoe Greenberg in separate interviews, has been edited for length and clarity and combined.
On meeting each other as kids
Rachel Neuschatz: I consider myself a red diaper baby [a term to describe the kids of radical/Communist parents].We lived in a single family home, but we were always involved with the Jewish community Cheder. Rachel Luban and I were in it starting from age 5.
Lizzy Seitel: I grew up in a pretty typical nuclear family, in most ways. But my parents always had an extra room, and they were always having people come stay with us. There was this feeling of people coming in and out, and I really loved that — just the idea of family being expansive.
It was always my fantasy to live in a boarding house.
Rachel Luban and Rachel Neuschatz at house dinner.
Rachel Luban: I feel like we raised each other, and those relationships have always felt as central to me as romantic relationships. Romantic partnership was part of my vision, but as a kid I would never dream about getting married.
On the ‘palace of dreams’
Lizzy Seitel: The Rachels and I always talked about creating a palace of dreams.
Rachel Neuschatz: We’d always talked very vaguely about living together. Of course, people loved to tell us it wouldn’t work, which is a very funny, ubiquitous response.
Rachel Luban: We had been talking for many years about wanting a more communal living situation, some kind of cohousing. We didn’t know exactly what that would look like.
Lizzy was very rooted in Philly. She’d been here for maybe 10 years, she was married, she was pregnant.
So both Rachel and I decided to move to Philly in 2019. We moved within a month of each other, and we were all living in separate apartments in South Philly.
On choosing to buy a house together
Lizzy Seitel: Having a kid, and then it being the pandemic, it was like, “Oh yeah, the nuclear family is bulls—. This is not how anyone should raise kids.”
Rachel Luban: Even though we were all living in South Philly, less than a half hour walk from each other, it felt like seeing each other had to be this big planned thing and you had to clear your night for it.
We wanted lower barriers to spending time together, and more incidental interactions.
On searching for the right place
Rachel Luban: There was really no road map, and that was very challenging. We didn’t have many people to talk to. There are all of these logistics to figure out: Should we become an LLC? We decided not to do that, because then we would need a commercial mortgage.
We wanted a single structure that had separate units. So everyone has their own door, everyone has their own kitchen, but there are some common spaces, and we’re all really close together.
We made our own basic boundaries about what percentage of the property each person would own and therefore, what percentage of the finances they would be responsible for.
Our runner-up was this former nunnery that was three huge conjoined West Philly rowhomes. It had one giant kitchen, 13 bathrooms, and a lot of institutional carpeting. It was kind of cool, but also just an insane space.
The place we eventually found felt like it fell from heaven, because nothing else came close.
Rachel Luban, house friend Fadi Awadalla, and Serge Levin share a moment in the kitchen.
On committing
Lizzy Seitel: I knew that these are the people that are the most committed to me, besides Serge. I know we can fight and that we’re always gonna want to come back together. There’s no question of, is this friendship gonna last? We’re gonna make it last.
Rachel Luban: A lot of people, including lawyers, told us not to do this. They were like, “You intertwine your lives, and then somebody has a falling out, or somebody wants to move, and then you’re in a mess.”
In a certain way, I think it required the kind of psychological commitment that people make when they get married, where they’re throwing their chips in together. Knowing that if something happens, it could be really messy.
We decided we trust each other enough to think that if something changes, everyone will act with good faith.
On their friendships now
Rachel Luban: You get to know people in a different way, and your fates are more tied together. We had to replace our entire heating system, which is actually three different heating systems. There’s a range of different feelings about spending money and what kind of upkeep the house needs. Even whether we should mow the lawn was a discussion that we had to have.
Lizzy Seitel: We might not live in this house or in this arrangement for every year until we die, but we’re thinking that far ahead — about aging and wanting to be together in this life. That feels like a commitment to each other’s future.
Rachel Neuschatz: Probably I will not formally parent. Maybe it’ll still happen, but that’s not on my bucket list. Lizzy’s kids are like my niblings — nieces and nephews.
On telling other people:
Rachel Luban: Most people are like, “I’m jealous. I want to do that.” Then a minority of people are like, “That’s my personal hell.”
Lizzy Seitel: I feel like there’s this thing of people not knowing that they’re allowed to commit to their friends, or have their friends commit to them.
Rachel Neuschatz: I cap myself from gushing too much, because I don’t want to be a jerk. But yeah, it’s a goddamn paradise that we’ve made ourselves.
This is part of an occasional series about life partners across the Philadelphia area. If you want to share your story about who you’re navigating life with romantically or otherwise, write to lifepartners@inquirer.com. We won’t publish anything without speaking to you first.
Is it worth it to risk part of your community for love? I invited two Inquirer staffers — one runner, and a running hater who likes drama —to help answer the question.
Have a question of your own? Or an opinion? Email me.
Evan Weiss, Deputy Features Editor
This week’s question is…
I’m in a run club, which I love because it’s chill. But, there’s another runner I want to date. Do I risk my stress-free run club for a relationship that might not work out?
Bedatri D. Choudhury, Arts & Entertainment Editor (hobby runner)
I am a hobby runner but was in a run club once, let’s go!
Beatrice Forman, Food and Dining Reporter (running hater)
Did you ever hit on anyone in your run club, Bedatri? Or get hit on?
Bedatri D. Choudhury
I joined a run club because I was new to the country and read somewhere that it’s a great place to socialize. That or Equinox. I couldn’t afford Equinox.
It’s a group of fit people sweating together. I don’t think it graduated to hitting on, but there was definitely some scoping out.
Beatrice Forman
I actually went to one of those run clubs for singles last year for a story that never saw the light of day and got hit on twice! And even then, it felt a little out of place to me given that it’s hard to banter while jogging.
Bedatri D. Choudhury
Take it outside the club. Get their number, text, etc.
Should someone do it? I’d lean toward yes, go ahead and date.
Beatrice Forman
That makes sense, though I guess I wonder what happens after.
If you make a move and it doesn’t work out, or you date and it also doesn’t work out, do you keep showing up? Who gets custody of the run club?
Bedatri D. Choudhury
A run club is low stakes. I know a couple that are not breaking up formally because they share a couples-only rate for a Life Time gym membership.
Beatrice Forman
I would tolerate so much for a discounted Life Time membership.
I did have a friend who hooked up with too many people in her run club that she was asked to leave, actually. And another who broke up with a fellow runner and then left because she had to watch them flirt with other runners.
So your mileage literally does vary.
Bedatri D. Choudhury
I just think it’s about not dragging others into your drama. If it’s not working out makes you incapable of seeing this person again, just opt out of the run club. Better still, start one of your own.
But hey, if it works out then it’s a whole world of possibilities.
Beatrice Forman
I’m definitely in the shoot-your-shot camp, but she needs to be mindful of how she makes her move.
I know a lot of people are turned off by the idea of mixing running and romance (source: I read an article about this), so I would hate for her to put herself out there — which is good — and then get shunned because she didn’t respect the vibes of the club.
Bedatri D. Choudhury
I am totally in the shoot-your-shot tent too, but if this club is very important to her, she should also be mindful if the date doesn’t go well.
Beatrice Forman
Yes! I personally would never risk having to give up a space or hobby that matters to me over a partnership gone south. There’s more to life than literally running toward a relationship, so it’s really up to her if she likes the person enough to see it through.
Bedatri D. Choudhury
Yeah my parents met at work and kept working together for 40-something years. Go get an acai bowl and talk about your favorite color. Like a wise man once said, “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your [running] shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.”
Beatrice Forman
Is that wise man Dr. Seuss?
Bedatri D. Choudhury
Yes.
Beatrice Forman
I vote that she discreetly asks for their number while they do quad stretches or whatever it is that you’re supposed to do to warm up.
Bedatri D. Choudhury
Then if the club throws you out, you can run together.
Walt Whitman, Ben Franklin, Betsy Ross — these are the massive engineering marvels that come to mind when most Philadelphians think of the bridges between Pennsylvania and New Jersey. But less than an hour north of the city, the Delaware narrows enough to let charming, Norman Rockwell-type trusses span the forested riverbanks.
Everyone knows New Hope. But on the opposite side of the river, Lambertville and neighboring Stockton make a compelling case for a Jersey-side getaway, thanks to stylish revived historic inns, a vibrant arts scene, and some excellent shopping. Start the car.
Hunt: Golden Nugget Antique Flea Market
Coming off I-95 and up River Road, you’ll hit Golden Nugget Antique Flea Market, just outside Lambertville. Over five decades, this sprawling indoor-outdoor operation has grown into one of the largest antique markets in the region. Treasure hunt for Tiffany-glass lamps, rare baseball cards, glittering geodes, and more. Don’t miss Art & Restoration gallery on the first floor, where the chatty owner is happy to talk through the process of paper deacidification and the highlights of his ever-changing collection (which recently included a Picasso).
📍 1850 River Rd., Lambertville, N.J. 08530
Hike: Goat Hill Overlook
River towns offer plenty of scenic walks along the water, but a little elevation makes all the difference. Goat Hill Overlook, halfway between the Golden Nugget and downtown Lambertville, is a low-effort, high-reward climb: a gently uphill, paved path that clocks just under a mile from the trailhead parking lot. At the summit, the blue, bridge-laced Delaware slides toward the horizon before dissolving into the woods.
Indie boutiques, antique dealers, and cafés line the streets of downtown Lambertville, which stretches along Bridge Street (at the foot of the New Hope-Lambertville Bridge) and spiders out in a series of charming alleys and lanes. Wander into Zinc for home and garden inspo, Lambert + Hope for Flamingo Estate candles and Laguiole knives, and Panoply for special-edition books and vintage vinyl.
📍 Bridge Street, Lambertville, N.J. 08530
Snack: RSC Atelier
Perhaps the only gourmet grocery you’ll find attached to a gas station, RSC Atelier in Stockton grew out of the old Rosemont Supper Club nearby. Build a picnic basket with Iberico ham, upscale tinned fish, and farmstead cheese sourced by sister business Immortal Milk Cheese Co.
A crossroads for travelers since 1710, the nine-key Stockton Inn reopened in 2024 after a seven-year renovation that modernized the staying experience while still preserving the building’s historic bones. Earthy colors and natural fabrics give the rooms and suites a tranquil, contemporary vibe that feels both at home in the country but also more stylish than the typical area B&Bs.
📍 1 S. Main St., Stockton, N.J. 08559
See: Music Mountain Theatre
New Hope’s Bucks County Playhouse gets most of the attention, but just a mile from Lambertville’s downtown, Music Mountain Theatre is quietly expanding the arts scene on the Jersey side of the river. Founded in 2017, the company stages polished productions year-round for families and adults alike. This winter’s lineup includes Grease (through Feb. 1), followed by Dangerous Liaisons and Shrek the Musical.
True to headline, nearly everywhere in this guide has a Lambertville or Stockton address. Dinner is the only exception. For that, head three and a half miles inland to the Sergeantsville Inn. Chef Sean Gray, formerly of New York’s Momofuku Ko, runs the tavern and restaurant housed in a building that dates to 1734. Stone walls, wood beams, and Shaker-style chairs set the stage for a candlelit meal of radicchio salad with cheddar and pears, beer-battered onion rings with horseradish aioli, or a whole roasted duck. Look alive — the Revolution is here.
The buyers: David Snelbaker, 59, finishing technician
The house: a 1,440-square-foot townhouse in Port Richmond with three bedrooms and two baths built in 1925.
The price: listed for $275,000; purchased for $269,500
The agent: Allison Fegel, Elfant Wissahickon Realtors
Snelbaker in the kitchen of his Port Richmond home.
The ask: Snelbaker didn’t want to give up his house in Graduate Hospital. He’d spent years rehabbing and repairing it. But in 2023, on the heels of a breakup, he determined he couldn’t afford to keep it on his own. He needed to downsize, but he wanted to stay in his neighborhood. Other than that, his list was short but firm: a backyard for gardening and a rowhouse that wasn’t too narrow.
His budget was $300,000 — a number driven less by lender approval than by self-preservation. “I didn’t want to be house poor,” he said. “I have friends who are. They don’t go on vacations. They’re just kind of financially stuck.”
The search: Snelbaker needed to sell his old house before he could make an offer on a new one, which made it difficult to compete in South Philly’s hot market. “A lot of the places I wanted to jump on would just go so fast,” he said.
He expanded his search and discovered better stock in Fishtown and Port Richmond. “For the same price for something in South Philly, it was a fixer-upper,” he said. “And here, it was in good shape.” Snelbaker had already lived through years of construction in his old house and wasn’t eager to do it again. “I just didn’t want to get into another fixer-upper situation,” he said.
He checked out a few places in Fishtown but settled on Port Richmond because it was closer to his work. The prices were better, too. “It was a win-win,” Snelbaker said. The only other place he considered was a recently renovated rowhouse close to the river. “It was laid out well,” he said. “That was my second choice.”
Snelbaker liked that the house was recently renovated and move-in ready.
The appeal: Snelbaker knew he’d found the one when he stepped out back. “The backyard was unbelievably, unbelievably big,” he said. “It’s like 27 feet long and 18 feet wide.” Plenty of space for the major landscaping projects he wanted to do, like planting several trees and building raised beds. Even better, one side of the yard abutted a warehouse, not another rowhouse, which gave him “a level of privacy,” he said.
Inside, the house was open, newly renovated, and neutral. “It didn’t have a lot of personality,” Snelbaker said, “but it wasn’t a lot of work either.”
The deal: Snelbaker saw the house at the end of the summer, but because he needed the proceeds from his Graduate Hospital home for a down payment, he couldn’t make an offer right away. Thankfully, the Port Richmond house lingered on the market until he sold his place in October. “I was surprised it didn’t move,” Snelbaker said.
Once his old house sold, Snelbaker moved quickly. He offered $269,500 — $5,500 under the asking price — and the seller accepted without pushback. The inspection brought little drama. The sellers, who were contractors, handled minor repairs. “They did some patching on the roof and some stuff on the brick in the front,” Snelbaker said. “There was something with the dishwasher … they repaired that. That was pretty much it.”
Since moving in, Snelbaker has added personal touches like this antler lamp to give his house more personality.
The money: Snelbaker walked away with $240,000 from the sale of his previous home. He put a chunk of it into a certificate of deposit and used the remaining $180,000 for the down payment. “I put more than 20% down because I wanted to keep my monthly payment low,” he said.
Even so, timing worked against him. Interest rates climbed to 7% as he was shopping, and insurance costs jumped a few months after he moved in. His monthly payment was originally $1,300. Now it’s $1,900. He plans to refinance once interest rates drop a few percentage points, and he’s actively looking for a better rate on his home insurance.
Snelbaker removed some of the concrete in the backyard to plant trees.
The move: Snelbaker sold his old house in mid-October and officially closed on his new one on Halloween, but he wasn’t ready to move in right away. His agent did some “fancy footwork” and worked out a deal for Snelbaker to rent his old house from its new owners for a few weeks. “She negotiated a really good timeline that gave me space to pack and wrap up everything at the old house,” Snelbaker said.
Even better, he celebrated Halloween with his old neighbors. “We handed out candy, and they made me dinner. It was very sweet,” Snelbaker said. He moved into his new home the week before Thanksgiving.
Any reservations? Without an attached neighbor on one side, the house runs colder than Snelbaker expected. He contacted an energy auditor who advised him not to do anything until he insulated the roof. It’s pricey, but worth it, Snelbaker said. “It’ll definitely increase the comfort and lower my heating bills.”
Life after close: Since moving in, Snelbaker has focused on the backyard. He removed slabs of concrete to make room for trees and raised beds. “That was important for me,” he said. “I really wanted to get a garden going again like I had in my old spot.”
DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away six years ago. She was a manipulative woman who had alienated all family members except my adult son. She promised him a sizable amount of money when she passed but didn’t follow through. As the fiduciary of my parents’ estate, I followed their trust directives as written, with no exceptions.
My son received a nice check, but not as large as he had expected. He was upset and blamed me for “taking” his money. Then he declared that we would never see our grandsons again unless he received what his grandmother had promised. He refused to understand the concept of a trustee’s fiduciary duty and has ghosted us, even though I have tried reaching out to him several times.
Thanks to the generosity of our former daughter-in-law, we do have access to our grandsons. I have finally come to terms with my son’s decision to remove himself from the family, which includes his brother and sister. He’s an adult and can make that decision for himself.
It was always my intention to one day pass what I inherited on to my three children. What I am struggling with is that I’m feeling a considerable amount of guilt because my husband and I have excluded this son from any monetary distributions from our own trust because of how he has behaved and his attempt at blackmail. Am I justified in excluding him? I want to forgive and forget, but I can’t get past his actions.
— CONFLICTED IN IDAHO
DEAR CONFLICTED: That your son misdirected his anger from his grandmother, where it belonged, onto you is very sad. Forgive him in your heart, but do not reward him by changing your estate plans. If you haven’t already done so, discuss with your lawyer leaving your son’s share of your estate in trust for your grandsons instead.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I am married to a verbally and economically abusive alcoholic. His drinking has grown much worse during this last year to the point that he can no longer hold a job longer than two months. We have three children, and I know our constant fighting is bad for the kids.
Because I haven’t worked in eight years, it has been extremely hard for me to find a job. I have applied for many. I want to leave this toxic marriage, but I’m scared. I don’t know how. I have nowhere to go, no money, no car, no job. What can I do, Abby? I am so miserable that I can’t stand it.
— BREAKING POINT IN THE WEST
DEAR BREAKING POINT: It’s time to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline, which can be accessed at thehotline.org or by calling toll-free 800-799-7233. Your husband may not be beating you, but that does not mean you aren’t being abused. The atmosphere you describe isn’t healthy for you or your children. You cannot save your husband from his addiction. Only he can do that when he finally hits rock bottom and decides to seek help for his drinking.
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship for almost two years with an incredible man who makes my heart sing. We are both in our mid-30s. I have three children. He has one whom, for lack of better words, his own parents co-parent.
We are at the point in our relationship where I want to marry, move in together and do the whole family thing. He often says he wants to marry me and wants that life, but “not yet.” When I ask him why, he says, “I wish I knew why. I wish I could snap my fingers and make it something I want to do now.”
His parents are amazing, but they always come before anyone else. If he had to choose right now, it would be his parents over me or any of the kids. I feel like I’m in a never-ending cycle of “Is he going to?” or “When will he get there?” What should I do? We’ve had long and extensive conversations, but I don’t feel he is actually trying to “get there.”
— WANNABE WIFEY
DEAR WANNABE WIFEY: Your boyfriend clearly likes the status quo. After two years, it’s time to offer him the option of couples counseling. If he refuses and you still want to take the relationship to a higher level, you will have to recognize that nothing is likely to change and act accordingly.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my boyfriend for 12 years. We have two children and a third on the way. Three years ago, we got our family a dog, “Astro,” the love of our lives. She passed away three months ago from heat exhaustion. She was only 2 years old. I was driving while my boyfriend held her as we drove to the vet. She died before we got there.
I am now in grief therapy. I expressed my grief to my boyfriend, and he has expressed his to me. I’m adamant about not wanting another dog. He told me he wanted another one, but that I had nothing to worry about for a while — more than likely, a year. I was OK with it because I felt it would give me time to grieve.
Well, this past weekend, my boyfriend came home with a new dog. He didn’t warn me. The new dog looks exactly like Astro, the same breed and color. I am heartbroken. I feel like my trust has been betrayed. I’ve been a wreck ever since, and I don’t think I can compromise.
This is a no-win situation because one of us will end up unhappy. I’m thinking about ending our relationship over this. Am I being unreasonable or selfish?
— OVERWHELMED IN KANSAS
DEAR OVERWHELMED: You are neither unreasonable nor selfish. What your boyfriend did was inconsiderate and underhanded and showed disregard for your feelings. At the very least, you deserve an apology. That dog should be returned to the breeder or rescue from which it came. However, while I don’t blame you for having second thoughts about the relationship after this man’s display of insensitivity, after 12 years (and three kids), ending the relationship may be impractical.
Frances Ola Walker, 86, of Philadelphia, cofounder of Parents Against Drugs and Dunlap Community Citizens Concerned, onetime president of the Mill Creek Coalition and director of the West Philadelphia Empowerment Zone, former aide to U.S. Rep. William H. Gray III, college instructor, mentor, and volunteer, died Tuesday, Dec. 30, of respiratory illness at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania-Cedar Avenue.
A lifelong champion of education, civil rights, comprehensive healthcare, environmental responsibility, employment and housing equity, and community partnerships, Ms. Walker spent more than 70 years, from age 13 to 86, protesting injustice, improving life for her neighbors, and caring for historic residential swaths of West Philadelphia.
In the 1960s, she marched with fellow activist Cecil B. Moore and others to protest segregation at Girard College. Most recently, she advocated for alternative SEPTA transit routes to support Black-owned businesses.
“I just stayed involved,” she said in a video interview for the West Philadelphia Landscape Project. “If there was a protest, I was leading it. … I’m glad I made a contribution people can respect.”
Ms. Walker (center) spoke often at awards ceremonies and civic events.
She cofounded Dunlap Community Citizens Concerned in the early 1980s to address housing and infrastructure concerns, and Parents Against Drugs in the late ‘80s. She led the local Healthy Start federal initiative to reduce infant mortality in the 1990s and served on the advisory board of Bridging the Gaps, a healthcare partnership of academic health institutions and community groups.
She developed programs that connected University of Pennsylvania students and faculty with neighborhood residents through what is now Penn’s Netter Center for Community Partnerships. She acquired federal funds to revitalize communities in the West Philadelphia Empowerment Zone, partnered with Penn to pioneer urban ecology projects, and supervised the West Philadelphia Landscape Project in the Mill Creek neighborhood.
Her family said she was “fearless in her pursuit of justice.”
Anne Whiston Spirn, professor of landscape architecture and planning at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, invited Ms. Walker to lecture virtually in her ecological urbanism course. “She bridged the worlds of university, politics, and neighborhood, and called the powerful to account,” Spirn said.
Ms. Walker (left) presents an award to U.S. Rep. Dwight Evans (center) as a Philadelphia police officer looks on.
She served on then-Mayor Ed Rendell’s search committee for a new health commissioner in 1993 and briefly considered her own run for City Council. She worked with then-Vice President Al Gore on his community empowerment programs and managed Gray’s West Philadelphia office for 10 years in the 1980s.
Former U.S. Rep. Chaka Fattah noted her “extraordinary legacy of helping others” and said: “She always chartered her own path and spoke her truth.” Former City Council member at large Blondell Reynolds Brown said: “Her unwavering grassroots work brought care, dignity, and possibility to families facing hardships.”
She studied community engagement in MIT’s Mel King Community Fellows Program in 2000 and 2001, and earned more than 100 awards, citations, and commendations, including from the White House for her leadership in a children’s immunization campaign.
Regarding drugs and crime in West Philadelphia, Ms. Walker said in 1987: “People in this community have to take a stand.”
“My grandmother didn’t leave us directions,” said her grandson, Abdul-Malik Walker, “but she left us a compass. Her voice is in our habits, and her strength is in how we handle the miles ahead.”
Frances Ola Walker was born Jan. 20, 1939, in South Philadelphia. Her father was a preacher, and the family is related to the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. So it surprised no one when she began leading academic tutoring for her siblings and teen neighborhood friends on her front stoop.
She was one of 11 children, and her family moved to the Dunlap section of West Philadelphia in 1945. She attended West Philadelphia High School and worked at first as a personal shopper for neighborhood seniors.
She was always interested in civic affairs and social justice, and she became the first Black woman to work at an Acme markets warehouse, her family said, and one of the first female postal carriers.
Ms. Walker stands with her grandson Abdul-Malik Walker.
She had sons Gregory and James, and daughters Michelle, Roslyn, Wala, and Patricia. She married John Ponnie. Her husband, sons Gregory and James, and daughters Michelle and Patricia died earlier.
Ms. Walker enjoyed traveling and playing cards with her family. She knew the detailed history of Dunlap and Mill Creek, and delighted in sharing it with others she encountered on her frequent walks.
“She was an encourager to people of all ages,” said her niece Sibrena Stowe. “She was truly a force to be reckoned with.”
Ms. Walker told her family: “It is through love that all things are possible. For me, it is when people call on you that lets you know you make a difference.”
Ms. Walker appeared in this documentary video for the West Philadelphia Landscape Project.
In addition to her daughters, niece, and grandson, Ms. Walker is survived by 16 other grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren, two sisters, and other relatives. Six sisters and two brothers died earlier.
Visitation with the family is to be from 9 to 10 a.m. Friday, Jan. 9, at Ezekiel Baptist Church, 5701 Grays Ave., Philadelphia, Pa. 19143. A service is to follow, and a repast at 2 p.m. Livestream is at repastai.com/frances.
DEAR ABBY: My husband is battling cancer. He has good days and bad days. He is not at the end, but he can no longer do a lot of things for himself. At this point, we are very busy with doctors and treatments. We have 14 medical treatments this month alone.
His children want to visit from out of town frequently. Of course they want to see their dad, and I understand. However, how can I moderate the visits graciously without discouraging them so the additional responsibilities don’t wear me out?
I have tried setting some limits, and some of them pay attention to what I say. However, one “child” (age 50) doesn’t listen. They come to town and want to spend all day with Dad. I have to provide meals, snacks, beverages and attempt to monitor my husband’s rest time as well as my own.
I have tried limiting the number of days, but I am ignored. The last time, my husband and I suggested four days instead of seven, but we were ignored. Now, this child wants to come for a month. Help, please.
— CARETAKER IN UTAH
DEAR CARETAKER: That this “child” would ignore not only your wishes but also their father’s is terrible. I’m sorry you didn’t mention where this person stays when they visit, but it should not be in your home. They should stay at a hotel or motel and they, not you, should be responsible for their meals.
Your husband can help with this to some degree. When he’s tired and needs to rest, he should be willing to tell his child it’s time to go. This child should also be willing to lend a hand wherever it’s needed, including shopping for groceries, doing laundry and taking Dad to medical appointments so you can rest.
Drawing the line isn’t easy, but once it’s done, you will both be glad you did.
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DEAR ABBY: My mother loves exchanging gifts and spends a lot of time and energy choosing and elaborately wrapping items for all the members of our family. She’s also retired and living on a limited, fixed income. She showers me and my kids with expensive things at holidays, but then almost immediately hits me up for cash because she’s broke.
I’ve gotten into the habit of returning as many of her gifts as I can and banking the money for when she needs it back. She found me out and gets really angry when I do this. At the same time, she’s unwilling to scale back her spending. She sees these as completely separate issues. I can’t refuse her the money because she wouldn’t be able to pay for rent or groceries.
How do I get her to understand that the most precious gift she could give would be to stay within her means, and I’d rather not have to pay her back for things she buys us?
— NO MORE GIFTS
DEAR NO MORE: If telling your mother to stop giving you gifts has been unsuccessful, you are not going to change her. This is who she IS. Accept that. My recommendation would be to continue dealing with this issue as you have, regardless of the inconvenience, and suggest to your mother that, if she is able, she should look for a part-time job so she will have more disposable income.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years. Everyone we know thinks we are married, but we never got it on paper. He has always been less empathetic than I would like, and there’s a lot of stuff I either had to accept or move on. He never buys me gifts (no matter how much I’ve told him it bothers me), and it has been a struggle for him to even hug me when I’m sad.
These last few years have been harder than usual. I have blown up like a freaking balloon from emotional eating, and our relationship is falling apart. We haven’t had sex in six months (who knows when before that), and it’s taken a toll on me. I keep wondering if it’s me.
He used to at least give me massages, and I’d feel closeness through that intimacy, but now it feels like we are strangers. I know we have a lot of stressful stuff going on, but where’s the love? How do I talk to him about this?
— STRANGER IN LOVE
DEAR STRANGER: Choose a time when you and your partner are calm and as stress-free as possible. Open the conversation by saying you don’t think HE is happy and ask him why. Couples don’t “not get around” to getting married. There are usually explanations for it. Those reasons should have been dealt with years ago.
Once he’s done expressing what he thinks about your relationship, it will be time to tell him how lonely, isolated and unhappy you have become. If you are both willing to work on making it better, you have a chance for a better future with him. However, if he runs true to form, then it is time to cut your losses before you starve to death from lack of affection, which is likely the reason for all of your emotional eating.
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DEAR ABBY: My ex-girlfriend just can’t get a clue. She continues trying to get me back and even goes so far as to stalk me. I blocked her phone number, but it has become exhausting. How do I tell her I don’t love her anymore and really no longer even like her? I can’t stand her, her family or her friends. She gaslit me for years. Our entire relationship was built on a lie. I’m so much happier without her in my life, but she just won’t go away. Any advice on how to deal with this crazy person would be great.
— SO OVER HER IN FLORIDA
DEAR SO OVER HER: Continue to avoid your ex, and if you see her, do not acknowledge her. If she approaches you, tell her you are done and to leave you alone. Do not respond to her calls, emails or texts, and if she mails you anything, write “return to sender” on the package or envelope.
Tell your friends that she is stalking you and her behavior is creepy, and then continue dating and resume your social life. If she acts out or damages your property, report her to the authorities. The most effective way to get rid of her is to resume the life you had before you met her and don’t look back.
