DEAR ABBY: After a tumultuous breakup, I reconnected with two men through friends. I’ve known and liked them both for years. One lives in Europe; the other lives here in New York. Both are wonderful, respectful and caring, and I feel beyond lucky. Both say they are in love with me and want to pursue a serious future. Call me crazy, but I love them both for different reasons. How do I possibly choose?
Do I choose the romantic European dreamer who makes me believe in magic but may eventually annoy me with his dreams and lack of action, plus the citizenship challenges? He’s fun, romantic, spontaneous and lets me embrace all of me. I feel so alive and loved, but I’m unsure if it would fade once kids and real life are in the picture.
Or do I build a safer future with the brilliant and calming stateside friend? He is deeply empathetic, hardworking, introverted and creative. I worry that we are only friends at our core and that I could grow bored or tired of his deep emotions. What is most important in a life partner? I’m terrified to choose the wrong one. I like who I am with for different reasons when I’m with each of them.
— FACING A BIG DECISION
DEAR FACING: I’m trying to imagine being lucky enough to be in your position. How do I choose? Hmmmm. I can spend my life with a romantic European dreamer who doesn’t always follow through, knowing there may be citizenship challenges. What if I have kids with this adorable Peter Pan (with a sexy accent)? Whoa! The responsibility could be completely on my shoulders.
Or should I choose to spend my life with an empathetic, hardworking, creative man (who I assume DOES follow through)? Oh, what a hard choice to make. If you plan on having a family, one would hope you’d opt for the love and stability this one would provide.
Of course, how this plays out is up to you. I know whom I would choose, but perhaps my values are different. Continue seeing both of these suitors and let them know you are seeing them both. If you do, in time, your decision may come more easily.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I am a student in high school. If I study hard now for my future, will happiness be guaranteed in the future? Is it meaningful to study if you only get stressed in the present and when you grow up in the future? I’m not sure if studying will guarantee happiness when I grow up. If I keep studying like this, will I be really happy later on?
— DEFINING HAPPINESS IN S. KOREA
DEAR DEFINING: Happiness means different things to different people. What is important to me and makes me happy may not do the same for you or anyone else. I know that students face a lot of pressure to succeed, but the end result is usually worth it. You will be better able to provide for yourself and your family, if you decide to have one. However, there are no guarantees.
O little town of Bethlehem, how we see thee as just a place to visit during the holidays.
It’s true that the former steel city, tucked between Allentown and Easton along the Lehigh River, leans into — and has built a whole tourism industry around — its Christmas-themed name and roots, but there’s much more to Bethlehem than carols and holly.
The forest and river beckon in summer, and the city’s position along the Delaware and Lehigh Trail, which parallels the Lehigh Canal, puts visitors within easy access of both.
There’s an old-fashioned ice cream parlor, a grand historic hotel, a blueberry festival, even a UNESCO World Heritage Site. And if you really, really need a dose of holiday spirit, Christmas in July is right around the corner.
Bethlehem’s main street (literally, Main Street) twists up from the Lehigh River and stretches like taffy into a long straightaway lined in shops and cafes. At the foot of this drag is Hotel Bethlehem, built atop the 1741 foundation of the First House of Bethlehem and later the 1823 Golden Eagle Hotel. It has operated as Hotel Bethlehem — through periods of both glamour and neglect — for more than a century. Today, its crimson neon sign glows above the brick facade, while its rooms blend industrial touches with classic historic design. Across the street, a collection of modern suites houses the hotel’s spa. The property has been named the nation’s best historic hotel by USA Today, for five years running.
Cross the river to the South Side Historic District for breakfast — think vanilla-cinnamon French toast or loaded home fries bowls — or lunch, with options like a Cuban sandwich or cheddar-jalapeño burger. Cafe the Lodge is more than a charming cafe with a courtyard garden and art gallery. Since opening in 2012, it has provided transitional employment and housing opportunities for adults living with mental health diagnoses.
📍 427 E. Fourth St., Bethlehem, Pa. 18015
See: Moravian Church Settlements
Long before the Protestant Reformation, the Moravians were establishing a religious movement in Central Europe. Fast-forward a few centuries, and the Moravian church established an American foothold in Bethlehem whose well-preserved 18th-century buildings, cemetery, and museum now form part of the only transnational UNESCO World Heritage Site in the U.S. (sister settlements in Ireland, Denmark, and Germany comprise the collective). The Moravian Church Settlements tour explores this fascinating history, whether you’re interested in religion or simply great storytelling.
You gotta love a small-town summer fruit festival, and Bethlehem goes all in on blueberries every July. The 39th annual Bethlehem Blueberry Festival returns to Burnside Plantation the weekend of July 18 with blueberry pie, ice cream, coffee cake, lemonade, doughnuts, strudel, and just about every other indigo-colored treat imaginable. There are also live musicians, blacksmithing demonstrations, baby-goat snuggling and, naturally, a pie-eating contest. Resist the urge to yell, “Violet, you’re turning violet, Violet.”
📍 1461 Schoenersville Rd., Bethlehem, Pa. 18018
Move: Historic Bethlehem River Tours
There’s no need to decide between a paddle down the Lehigh River or bike along the Delaware and Lehigh Trail with Historic Bethlehem River Tours. Their Glendon Dam Discovery package, which launches from the Nagy’s Landing trailhead just east of downtown, pairs a peaceful two-mile downstream paddle with a six-mile bike ride to the dam’s overlook. It’s beginner-friendly and unguided, meaning you can go at your own pace, with HBRT providing all the equipment (and a shuttle back if you’re feeling lazy).
Named after a wild mushroom, Bolete isn’t just one of Bethlehem’s best restaurants. It’s one of Pennsylvania’s best restaurants. Chef-owner Lee Chizmar serves an exactingly prepared, terroir-driven menu in a stone-walled former country inn dressed with maximalist wallpaper and antique lighting. Depending on the season, you might find smoked pork chop with cherries and shiitakes, or foie gras paired with funnel cake, blueberries, and Valley Milkhouse fromage blanc.
If a town has a historic ice cream stand, and it’s summer, you should proceed immediately there for dessert. Bethlehem’s is the Bethlehem Dairy Store, a low-slung diner with neon sundaes and hot dogs in the windows that’s giving Nifty Fiftys. But “The Cup,” as locals call it, far predates Nifty, opening way back in 1927. Hand-dipped ice cream, soft serve, frozen yogurt, and sherbet comprise the roster of frosty treats, coming in flavors like dulce de leche, lemon cookie crunch, chocolate raspberry truffle, and mint Oreo.
The house: A 1,150-square-foot townhouse in Southwest Philly with two bedrooms and two bathrooms built in 1925.
The price: Listed for $180,000; purchased for $165,000.
The agent: Kristie Bergey, Coldwell Banker
The ask: Dylan Foglesong felt like he was overpaying for his apartment. He was spending $2,600 a month, plus utilities, for a two-bedroom place in Manayunk, and the money was going toward a place he would never own.
Dylan Foglesong tends to an area he calls the shrine in his home.
After six months, he paid the fee to break his lease and moved into a house with friends. His rent dropped to $600 a month, and because he was subletting month-to-month, he could leave whenever he wanted. He was saving more than $2,000 a month, and he realized he could put that money toward buying a house.
Foglesong had a simple wish list. As an avid cyclist, he wanted to be near multiple bike paths. He also wanted outdoor space, two usable bedrooms, and a low price. He did not care about central air or polished finishes. “I just wanted a cheap place that worked,” he said.
The search: Foglesong started searching in January,focusing on a small section of Southwest Philadelphia near Bartram’s Garden and the trail network along the Schuylkill. He wanted to remain close to Center City so he could bike to work.
Foglesong uses the rope wall to work out in the studio of his home.
He saw five houses. The first one was in his ideal location, but the floors were scratched and coming up, the kitchen looked decades out of date, and the upstairs had the cramped three-bedroom layout he wanted to avoid. It would have taken too much work to reach a point where he was not “barfing every morning at how much of an eyesore it was,” he said.
The only other serious contender had a large backyard, a clean basement, and an updated kitchen. But a quarter of the ceiling in one upstairs room appeared to be collapsing because of a leak. The house was listed for about $212,000. Foglesong offered $190,000, figuring he could use the difference to repair the roof, but the seller rejected the offer.
The appeal: The fifth and final house had a great layout. Both rooms upstairs were large. It also recently had “a really thoughtful renovation,” Foglesong said. The updates included a new HVAC system and appliances, while the house also had a finished basement with high ceilings, outdoor space, and an enclosed front porch where he could store his bikes.
Foglesong also liked the location on a quiet side street with little through traffic. “It’s on the kind of street that you wouldn’t drive down unless you lived there or you knew someone who lived there,” Foglesong said. Most of the houses on the block were occupied, which made the neighborhood feel established.
Dylan Foglesong is reflected in a mirror that hangs, next to classic car ads, in the foyer of his home.
The deal: The house had initially been listed for a little more than $181,000 before the seller lowered the price to $180,000. It had been on the market for roughly five months by the time Foglesong saw it.
He offered $170,000 and asked the seller to contribute 3% toward closing costs. They declined the closing assistance but countered at $165,000. The lower price ended up saving Foglesong the same amount of money, so he accepted.
The inspection was clean, save for one issue with the electrical. When Foglesong called Peco to arrange service, he learned that the house was not legally connected, even though the power was on. An electrical inspection found that the breaker box needed work, and the seller hired an electrician to set it up properly. But Foglesong still could not transfer the service into his name until the seller paid thousands of dollars in outstanding utility balances. The whole thing “seemed a little sus,” Foglesong said, but it worked out.
The money: Foglesong put 3% down, or $4,950. Including his closing costs, he paid about $11,600 out of pocket to buy the $165,000 house. His mortgage rate is 6.25%. Today, his monthly payment, including property taxes, is $1,300.
He already had some savings when he moved in with roommates, but the drop in rent allowed him to build the rest quickly. He estimates that he was saving nearly $3,000 a month. Within 3½ months, he had accumulated enough to cover the down payment and closing costs. “You take that little compromise for a couple of months,” Foglesong said about moving in with friends, “and all of a sudden you have $11,000 in your bank account.”
The move: Foglesong closed in April and moved his belongings from the shared house into a 10-foot U-Haul. Everything fit in one load, and he completed the move over two days without hiring movers or asking friends to help.
He managed it alone because he did not own much heavy furniture. His couch comes apart into sections, and he sleeps on a futon that he could fold and carry over his shoulders. For everything else, he improvised. “You put a blanket on the stairs, slide the furniture down,” Foglesong said. “You figure it out.”
Life after close: At first, buying the house felt less momentous than Foglesong expected. He had imagined “a really grand, movie-montage sequence,” he said, but moving in felt much like any of the other moves he had made during his 10 years in Philadelphia.
But as the weeks passed, the difference between his new home and the others became clearer. He was no longer paying rent for a place that belonged to someone else. He owned the house, and the monthly payment was within his budget. “It’s very grounding to wake up in a place that you can afford,” Fogelson said.
The experience also reinforced his belief that young buyers may need to reconsider what they expect from their first home. “You have to be realistic about what you can access right now,” Foglesong said. “Your first house doesn’t have to be your dream home.”
Editor’s note: This article has been updated to correct real estate agent Kristie Bergey’s name.
Did you recently buy a home in the Philadelphia area or South Jersey? Share the story of how you did it. Email Inquirer real estate reporters at properties@inquirer.com.
Is it rude to turn down a Fourth of July barbecue because it’s going to be 1,000 degrees? Let a woman sit inside … I’ll cook faster than the chicken.
Rosa Cartagena, Arts & Entertainment reporter
My knee-jerk response: Say no, and don’t feel guilty.
But for a better read on the situation — what’s your relationship to the host? Is this a must-do annual gathering? Are these friends you haven’t seen in a long time? Either way, we’re experiencing an extreme heat advisory, and you need to take care of yourself, so maybe staying home is the best bet.
Mike Newall, Life & Culture reporter
Before we begin, let me tell you a few facts about myself — so you can fully understand my bias. I was born with transparent skin. Nickname was Casper. I also hate sweating. Not if I’m exercising or playing sports or working. But if I’m just sitting down — I don’t want to be sweating.
I also don’t drink anymore. Given all that, I don’t ever like to be at a barbecue unless it’s in chilly Maine or I’m cooking. Because then I’ll be working, at least.
And Rosa’s right. Look after number one when it comes to heat advisories!
Rosa Cartagena
Oof, yeah, I agree with Mike — the sweat situation won’t be cute for anyone. What’s so special about this particular cookout, aside from the holiday? If it’s not an important tradition for you and your loved ones, then pass on this one and find another (cooler) time to enjoy the food and outdoors without so much discomfort. But if you do feel pressure to show up, you could always stop by early for a quick hour to show face and then duck out.
For my part, I do love the sun, and I think day drinking is the only July Fourth activity that I properly enjoy, but especially if you’re someone who’s older, or possibly have health concerns, it’s not worth the risk for some hamburgers. Protect your body (and your peace).
Mike Newall
Show your face to the bathroom mirror when you’re all sunburned!!!
Look, barbecues are just occasions to do things that aren’t enjoyable in 100-degree heat: make small talk, make sure the kiddo doesn’t get hurt or hurt anyone else, drink constant water and soda to keep boredom and nerves at bay and keep having to ask to use the bathroom (because of all that water and soda).
Rosa Cartagena
Totally true. I’d only add that it might be worth calling the host to see if their plans have shifted given the impending inferno — if they’re making adjustments to bring the party indoors, it may be worth the heat of traveling there and back. If not, just think how much happier you’ll be at home, in your AC, watching the World Cup and fireworks from the comfort of your couch.
Mike Newall
Call this host and ask them what the heavens to Betsy they were thinking of in the first place! Inviting you to such an obviously dangerous party in the first place! This selfish Meatapalozza in the middle of inhuman temps!
An event you would have to prepare an item for, pick out an outfit for, think of witty remarks for — all in the middle of Dante’s return!
But look, I’m someone who talks a big game, then goes and has the time of my life. So it’s really jump ball!
Look one things for certain. You can have a blast at a barbecue. It can be the summer kickback your soul needed. But this weather ain’t no joke.
Rosa Cartagena
Of course, there’s something really special about being outside and partying this week because there are thousands upon thousands of tourists enjoying the city and bringing such amazing, positive energy that I’d encourage everyone to experience. So if you wind up thinking, I want to have a good time during this historic, momentous celebration, I’m on your side. It could be a game-day decision. The urge to party may outweigh the dreaded sweat.
For me, I’d probably need just a couple tequila shots to make me feel invincible to the heat. (Then lots of water after, I promise.)
Mike Newall
Yes, drink responsibility! Do what you want! Have fun! And if anyone at this party brings up the 250th, just talk longly and loudly about how it all happened here. In short, be you. Be Philly. Happy 250th!
So The Inquirer’s Dugan Arnett, previously of the Boston Globe, went north to investigate. What followed was less a travel story and more a historical audit.
The Battle of Bunker Hill wasn’t actually fought on Bunker Hill. Plymouth Rock probably wasn’t where the Pilgrims first stepped ashore. Paul Revere never completed the ride he’s famous for. Even Ben Franklin’s grave turned out to be a replica. That’s a tough box score.
None of this is to say Boston isn’t one of America’s great historic cities. It is. The Freedom Trail is worth walking, and the city has every right to celebrate its place in the nation’s founding.
But if you’re going to challenge Philadelphia to a history contest, your greatest hits probably shouldn’t come with so many asterisks.
Meanwhile, Philadelphia is just over here with the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and enough actual founding history that Nicolas Cage based an entire movie around stealing it.
Philadelphia didn’t have to make a case for itself; Boston made it.
A young boy runs through the spray from the fountains at LOVE Park on a hot summer day on July 1. Temperatures are expected to break a bit Saturday into Sunday as the heat wave finally moves out of the region.
The Fourth of July heat: D-
If there were ever a week for Philadelphia to catch a break from the weather, this was it.
Philadelphia has spent years preparing for this once-in-a-generation celebration. The city can’t control the weather, but the weather doesn’t particularly care about 250 years of planning.
Hopefully, the forecast proves just pessimistic enough to keep everyone safe without putting too much of a damper on the festivities. Because nobody wants to spend America’s birthday wondering whether it’s too hot to light the grill.
Cam Gorman, 23, of Gilbertsville, Montgomery County, cheers with Philly Sports Guy at the FIFA Fan Festival on June 19 as the USA beats Australia.
To be fair, Boston only ever planned to keep the festival open through the group stage. Meanwhile, we’re still going.
As the tournament moves into the knockout rounds, Philadelphia still has a Fan Festival, another World Cup match, and America’s 250th birthday celebration all packed into the same week.
So for one more week, Philadelphia still feels like the center of the soccer world.
At a Wednesday news conference, Philadelphia Mayor Cherelle Parker outlines public safety and transportation plans for the July 4 concert expected to draw thousands to the Benjamin Franklin Parkway.
If it wasn’t broken: C-
Philadelphia didn’t need to reinvent its Fourth of July celebration.
You can spend years planning a wedding, but you can’t plan for 300 Croatian soccer fans.
A Philadelphia couple stepped outside City Hall for the classic wedding photos last week and instead found themselves in the middle of a sea of red-and-white checkered print, singing and dancing. The celebration quickly became one of the most joyful viral moments of the World Cup.
The funny part is that the newlyweds weren’t the ones who got crashed. They were the ones who accidentally wandered into Croatia’s party.
The fans serenaded the couple, posed for photos, declared them honorary Croatians, and are now trying to raise money to send them to Croatia for a future trip, Billy Penn reported.
It’s hard to imagine a better advertisement for Philadelphia hosting the World Cup.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 10 years. Ever since I have known him, he has had issues with depression and anxiety. I have tried to support him through these diagnoses.
He has attempted to go to therapy several times, but he never sticks with it. Once the therapist gets to the point where they start to get into what he needs to work on, he quits. He claims no one understands what he is going through. This has impacted every aspect of his life — sleep, eating habits and his controlling attitude toward me. He also works out excessively (like five hours a day).
It has also affected his ability to enjoy life and his job. He takes a lot of time off work, claiming he needs the rest, but he doesn’t rest. He does other things. When I say he needs to go to work like everybody else, he gets mad. His employer is now on his case for excessive absences. He refuses to take responsibility and says his employer is “targeting him.” Nothing is ever his fault. There is always an excuse.
This has greatly affected our marriage and his relationships with our two children, who really want their dad around, but he is not. I am a counselor. I see narcissistic tendencies in his behavior. I love him very much, and he has not always been like this. I don’t want to quit on him, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t continue to live like this, and I need to help our children live their best lives. Please help.
— LIKE A SINGLE PARENT IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR SINGLE PARENT: I am sure that, as a therapist, you realize you can’t help someone who refuses to be helped. It is time to put the welfare of your children first. Give your husband an ultimatum: Get help for his issues and stick with it, or you are leaving and taking the children with you. The atmosphere you have described is unhealthy for them and for you as well. P.S. As I’m sure you are aware, some counselors have therapists. Please consider enlisting some emotional support for yourself as you make your way through this.
** ** **
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend whom I love and enjoy being with. However, when we spend extended periods of time together, such as a few days on a trip, it doesn’t work well because of our personalities and belief systems. She is not aware of the struggles I have when spending more than a few hours with her and regularly invites me to go on trips with her. I have put her off a few times without telling her the truth. Is there a polite way to tell her that I’d rather not go on a trip with her?
— BRIEFLY IN DELAWARE
DEAR BRIEFLY: Tell your friend that you love her and enjoy being with her, but that if it involves leaving home for any length of time it makes you “anxious.” You do not have to explain any further. You may, however, have to refrain from telling her about any travel you do with other, more compatible friends.
** ** **
DEAR READERS: Happy 250th birthday to the USA! Let’s all enjoy a safe and happy Fourth of July! P.S. Wishing a Happy Heavenly Birthday to you, Mom!
For years, I and many others have looked forward to this week in Philadelphia, to be here in the city where our Declaration of Independence was written as our nation marks its 250th anniversary.
But Mother Nature had other plans: She reminded us that we are not as independent as we’d like to think.
Amid a 100-degree-plus heatwave, which was forecasted to continue through Saturday, numerous Seminquincentennial events were canceled. Yet locals and visitors persisted — with that consummate underdog Philadelphia spirit — and found small ways to come together to celebrate our ongoing American experiment.
I first got the feeling things weren’t going to go as planned as I walked the streets while out reporting on the Red, White & Blue To-Do Thursday and noticed something missing — people.
The crowds along the Red, White & Blue To-Do parade route were light and the audiences at WXPN’s music series — which featured 28 musicians playing at 11 historic venues — were even lighter. I was one of a dozen or so people in attendance at the Arch Street Meeting House for a free performance by the legendary poet and recording artist Ursula Rucker.
Students from Dance4Life School of the Arts in Delaware perform during the Red, White, & Blue To-Do Pomp & Parade on Thursday.
Not since the pandemic have I seen the sidewalks of Philadelphia as empty as they were Thursday, especially as the hours passed and the Salute to Service concert with Queen Latifah was canceled on Independence Mall.
To the smart alecks on my social media feeds who responded to my observation with comments like “It’s 100 degrees! Of course they are empty you raging soup fork” — I know it was hot, spork, I was out there.
I don’t blame anyone for not going outside in 103 temps, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad for Philly, for those who did brave the heat, and for the visitors who came here to enjoy the festivities.
And I know it must have been heartbreaking for officials to make the call to cancel Friday’s Salute to Independence Parade, which was to be the country’s largest Semiquincentennial parade featuring more than 240 elements and marching bands from across the country.
Floats that were to be in the Salute to Independence Parade are pulled through Old City.
People planned for years for the 250th. It was supposed to be the biggest week here since Pope Francis’ visit in 2015. We weren’t going to flub this Independence Day celebration up like the Bicentennial; Philly was going to bring it this time.
But this time, it wasn’t our fault. The one factor nobody can control, Mother Nature, decided to control us.
‘Rough and gritty experiences’
In May of 1776 it was so hot in Philadelphia that John Adams wrote to his wife, Abigail: “The Affairs of America, are in so critical a State, such great Events are struggling for Birth, that I must not quit this station at this Time. Yet I dread the melting Heats of a Philadelphia Summer, and know not how my frail Constitution will endure it.“
Not only did Adams’ frail constitution endure the heat, which dropped to 76 degrees by July 4, 1776, the other Founding Fathers and the people of this fledgling nation braved far worse to declare this country’s independence and create a new and monumental Constitution. Neither the people nor the product were perfect — and they still aren’t today — but they aspired to be something bigger and better.
The sun sets behind the Philadelphia skyline.
In Philadelphia, we still believe in things bigger than ourselves. Sure, a large majority of the time it’s the Eagles, but not always.
We believe in each other. I see it everyday in small interactions between strangers. We believe in truth, even when it’s painful. I saw it as volunteers put up handwritten signs Thursday to replace the ones removed at the President’s House. And we believe we are capable of big things. I saw it in the planning of our 250th events.
It wasn’t just officials who were invested in the Semiquincentennial, more than 10,000 Philadelphians volunteered to undergo training and be “Phambassadors” for the 250th events and the World Cup. These may be divisive times, but it was clear we, the people, still wanted to come together.
Even after Friday’s parade was canceled, people persisted and came together in informal gatherings, because that’s what we do. Marching bands, color guards, and dance troupes from across the country held informal pop-up performances at air-conditioned locations across the Historic District and colonial reenactors staged an unscheduled parade near the Liberty Bell.
With the Salute to Independence Semiquincentennial Parade cancelled reenactors muster near Independence Hall.
Just because Mother Nature decided to show her hand and remind us who’s boss — which she is totally within her right to do (thanks so much for not hitting us with an astroid!) — doesn’t mean it was all for nothing. We still had those small moments with each other, and while they’re not as flashy as the big ones, in the whole of existence, they’re still pretty unlikely and special too.
I had one of those moments during Rucker’s show at the Arch Street Meeting House. It felt like a gift to be part of such a small audience as I listened to her beautifully explore what it means to be a human and a Philadelphian.
Philly legend and poet Ursula Rucker performs with Miles Orion for a crowd of about a dozen people at the Arch Street Meetinghouse Thursday as part of WXPN’s Red, White & Blue To-Do Music Series.
“At the core I love us,” she said. “We show mutual aid. We don’t judge. We have rough and gritty experiences.”
This heat wave — temperatures were forecast to reach 104 Friday and just short of 100 Saturday, with a 60% chance of storms at night — is one of those rough and gritty experiences Philly will get through. The cancellation of events, while disappointing, is about mutual aid and concern, not just for those who would attend the celebrations, but for those who have to work them too.
Instead of cursing Mother Nature for ruining our big birthday party, maybe Philly and the country can take heed and make a new declaration that we’ll become a leader in reducing factors that lead to global warming.
I know, a girl can dream, but respect and deference to the one thing that truly governs us all seems like a pretty self-evident truth.
Fairmount residents are accustomed to annual July Fourth fireworks; it comes with the territory of living near Benjamin Franklin Parkway, where the city stages its major celebrations. With the United States’ 250th birthday, this July Fourth is no different — except that the fireworks will start closer to midnight.
“We have the whole family coming to our home, all on their way right now,” said Fairmount resident Margo DelliCarpini. “But 11:30, midnight is just too late for some families with children. I understand that it’s the Fourth of July, but the late start for fireworks is decidedly not a family-friendly decision.”
DelliCarpini will have her children and grandchildren visit to experience the Semiquincentennial in the city where the country began. But with young children in tow, parents along for the trip were hoping to have them in bed by midnight, she said. Instead, the large group is looking to catch one of the fireworks shows at Valley Forge or across Montgomery County, which start around 9 p.m.
Fans react to the music as the Wawa Welcome America Festival concluded July 4, 2023, with a free concert on Benjamin Franklin Parkway.
Philadelphia’s July Fourth concert and fireworks show, the One City: Unity Concert for America, is expanding its lineup from two to three acts like in years past, to 10 artists, including Christina Aguilera, Will Smith, Meek Mill, and Seal. The show will also start earlier and end later, spanning into July 5 by the time people head home.
The city did not respond to request for comment.
Other cities, like New York, Boston, and Los Angeles, are keeping their 9-9:30 p.m. start times, while Washington, D.C. is among the cities pushing back its fireworks show to 10:30 p.m. or even 11 p.m. to allow for its expanded America 250 showcase.
Mykola Kosyk, 36, a lifelong Fairmount resident, has been witnessing the Parkway fireworks for years. Usually he’ll catch some of the concert with his wife, head back home, have time to set off some fireworks of his own with family, and then all head back to the Parkway for the city’s grand finale. Kosyk said he’ll still likely watch the midnight fireworks on Saturday, but feels disappointed that younger Philadelphians may not get to experience itas children during 1976’s Bicentennial, Kosyk’s father recalled.
“It is the 250th, so if there is a time to do something big, I’m open to the idea,” Kosyk said of the later show. “But I also feel bad for the youngsters coming out, because 9 p.m. is usually a pretty good time for kids to watch the show. Midnight is pushing it a little for kids.”
For residents like Kosyk and DelliCarpini, the nuisance is less with the noise of fireworks which most Fairmount residents are used to by now, but how late the show will run, limiting access to younger kids and delaying vehicle and pedestrian traffic later into the morning.
The Inquirer reported that this year’s event will cost more to operate after Mayor Cherelle L. Parker decided to change the management of the festival from its previous nonprofit partner to a for-profit production company. Parker defended that decision at a news conference Wednesday: Philadelphia needed to meet the moment and host a celebration that is “fitting to and for our historical significance and prominence.”
Jason Derulo performs during the Wawa Welcome America July 4th Concert on the Parkway in 2022.
Moving an expected 300,000 attendees and their vehicles
Besides the hurdles for parents with younger children, there’s also the headache of moving an expected 300,000 people from the Parkway back home after the show.
SEPTA has covered most of its bases for getting people home. Regional Rail lines will have extended service on all lines, but the Landsale/Doylestown, Paoli/Thorndale, Manayunk/Norristown, Trenton, and West Trenton lines are the only lines that will run their last train between 1 a.m. and 1:10 a.m. All other Regional Rail lines stop running before 1 a.m., and in some cases before midnight, so people traveling in from the suburbs should plan accordingly.
Subways and trolleys will run overnight for those heading back home within the city, and bus service will run on a Sunday schedule, which usually stops operating around 2 a.m. for some routes.
But vehicle and pedestrian traffic could use some city intervention, said Dustin Dove, president of the Fairmount Civic Association, as there is concern among local civic leaders and some residents about how the city is handling traffic leaving the Parkway.
“It’s usually a bit of a mess near the Parkway after the fireworks and can lead to some reckless driving nearby as people are stuck,” Dove said. “Historically, after the fireworks, there are thousands of pedestrians and cars that come into the neighborhood.”
A police presence is seen in Eakin’s Oval as people wait for the fireworks to start at the Wawa Welcome America Festival on Tuesday, July 4, 2023.
Dove and others are hoping to see an increased police presence and traffic direction, as the event will be much later with more people this year, Dove said.
Additionally, residents hope police manage safety accordingly on Saturday.
“There’s going to be problems when you live in a city; it’s not like it’s the middle of nowhere with no neighbors, but this week … you’re now having people walk back home at midnight, 12:30 a.m.,” DelliCarpini said. “There needs to be a safe environment after the show.”
DEAR ABBY: My husband was married to a woman who lied to him about being pregnant. She wasn’t at the time, but she later became pregnant. They had two sons and divorced five years later. He never loved her.
I married him eight years after that. We have been happily married for 45 years. I always thought I had a great relationship with both of his sons (now 58 and 56). When we retired and moved to Florida, they suddenly became angry and announced that they had always hated me.
They had wanted us to move next door to their mother and live as “one big, happy family.” My husband and I couldn’t imagine that. His ex-wife is well educated and has a Ph.D. in family therapy. She never remarried. She is manipulative and controlling. Now, they won’t speak to us or let us see the four grandchildren. It’s heartbreaking.
We reached out twice, trying to make amends. We had a wonderful relationship with three of the grandchildren before this happened. My husband’s sons told him: “Dad, if you move back here, live close to mom and leave your current wife, we will forgive you.” Help!
— SADDENED IN THE SUNSHINE STATE
DEAR SADDENED: How does your husband feel about the emotional blackmail his sons are attempting? Forgive me for using the vernacular, but they and their family therapist mother are loony tunes! You don’t need my help. You and your husband need only to use your common sense. What is being proposed is outside the realm of reality.
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DEAR ABBY: I have two nieces. Each has two children. The children range from 12 to 18 years old. All of them live in my country of origin in Europe. I haven’t been able to visit for more than 10 years, so the younger ones don’t remember me. I have, however, always sent them gifts of money for Christmas and birthdays, around $25 each time for each child, plus their mothers. When the eldest was 18, I sent a larger gift, around $75, with similar amounts for significant exam results and graduation. I intend to do this for all four of them.
My question is: Can I stop these gifts now that one is an adult and phase out the gifts for all of them after they graduate from high school? I can afford to keep on giving them $25 for the holidays and birthdays, but it isn’t going to buy them much in college and, to be honest, I’m growing a bit tired of all the gifting.
I understand the eldest two are particularly brilliant and will go to famous universities, but I haven’t seen any evidence that they can write at all — i.e., not one thank you letter, ever! Would it seem mean and petty if I stopped, or should I wait until they are out of college?
— MEAN AUNTIE IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR AUNTIE: Do not punish the kids for something their parents failed to teach them. The money you have been sending hasn’t created a hardship for you, and a pattern has been established. If you opt to stop the monetary gifts, explain to your nieces your disappointment that in all these years you have received not one response for your thoughtfulness from their children.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married for 20 years and have three kids: 19 (in college), 17 and 15. My wife and I sleep in separate beds and haven’t had sex in more than five years — her choice, not mine. We tried counseling in the past but never got anywhere.
My wife is not investing in our relationship and isn’t interested in seeking outside help. At this point, I’m in it for the kids and my faith in God. I long to be in an intimate relationship. I feel incredibly lonely and have a growing resentment toward my wife. I work two jobs; she stays at home — doing what, I can’t tell you. She’s resistant to going to work. I’m afraid of the crash and burn of a divorce and how it would impact my children and my career. Please advise.
— DESPERATE FOR HELP IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR DESPERATE: Your wife may not be interested in getting outside help for your marital difficulties, but you definitely should. If you do, it will help you to clarify your thinking and decide how to rationally handle the next steps. From where I sit, your marriage died five years ago, and you shouldn’t have to live the way you have been.
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DEAR ABBY: My husband’s sister “Jewel” and her husband sometimes make condescending comments and embarrass me. Most recently, I held a family get-together at my house and prepared lots of food for it. Great meal and great time had by all.
Her husband came in late, walked past every dish and announced there was nothing there he liked. He then told Jewel, “Let’s go and pick up KFC. I’m hungry!” Jewel didn’t go, but she looked at me and said to the crowd, “Oh, my dear, you were cooking a lot. I’m so proud of you!” Neither one ate anything, but everyone else loved it.
There are some people you just don’t like to be around. How do I avoid inviting these people to my house or anywhere?
— HAD IT IN FLORIDA
DEAR HAD IT: Because Jewel is your husband’s sister, you may not be able to avoid them entirely. However, because the issue seems to be with your cooking, exclude them from gatherings in which you are the chef, or serve them a bucket of KFC. (With a smile, of course.)
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DEAR ABBY: Some of my friends and relatives have passed away recently, and some of the families have requested donations to religious organizations or charities I don’t want to support (nor do I wish to send flowers or plant a tree). Is it acceptable to send a donation to a charity that feeds children or in other ways works for the good of humankind? I do want to acknowledge the family’s loss. What would you suggest?
— MEMORIAL MALAISE
DEAR MEMORIAL MALAISE: I’m sorry to hear you have lost so many loved ones. However, it would be inappropriate to honor the deceased with a donation to a charity of your own choosing. If you want to support the family but not the causes they’ve suggested, enclose a check with a thoughtful sympathy card and trust that the money will be used to offset the funeral expenses.
