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Category: Life

  • She was raised as a queer kid by nontraditional hippies. Now she just wants ‘a guy who will commit.’

    She was raised as a queer kid by nontraditional hippies. Now she just wants ‘a guy who will commit.’

    Shelley R. grew up as a gender-nonconforming kid, and she loves the queer and trans community she’s built in Philadelphia — where sometimes she can feel like the seventh wheel when it’s dinner time and the entire party leaves to go on a group date together.

    But she’s also ready for something new in romance. Shelley, who The Inquirer is referring to by her first name and last initial because she doesn’t want her experience to reflect on her employer, is a “nontraditional person seeking normal love.”

    A 31-year-old trans woman, she just wants a nice, monogamish boyfriend.

    Raised by hippies in Boston who were devotees of New Age spirituality, Shelley was assigned male at birth, and as a teenager came out as gay.

    “I’ve never had the choice to just be like, ‘This is my boyfriend. He loves me. We live together and we’re hosting a little board game night,’” Shelley R. said.

    As a young adult, she attended Hampshire College, a small, very progressive school in Western Massachusetts, where she started identifying as trans. After graduation, she moved to Philadelphia, where she underwent gender-affirming surgery as part of her transition. She describes herself now as a “post-op” trans woman, and told The Inquirer, “I’ve had all that work done. I am essentially the same as a cisgender woman in most of the ways that count, except for one big one: fertility.”

    She now lives in West Philadelphia and is seeking what she describes as “typical love.”

    “I just want a guy who will commit,” she said.

    The following, as told to Zoe Greenberg in interviews and a letter, has been edited for length and clarity.

    On being a “post-op” trans woman on the dating apps in Philly

    If I don’t mention I’m trans on my profile, then I’ll get a lot of men who will immediately turn me down when they learn I’m trans, either due to prejudice or because they value being able to get their future wife pregnant. The “trans panic” can also be dangerous, if a man feels deceived. People get murdered or assaulted this way.

    If I just mention that I’m trans on my profile, with no medical information, many will make incorrect assumptions about my genitals, which could be a deal-breaker for them one way or the other.

    If I say I’m “post-op trans,” then I’m putting on my dating profile, “BY THE WAY, I HAVE A VAGINA!!!” which makes me come across as very focused on sex. Most men on dating apps already assume that no matter what I say I’m looking for, I’m looking for sex.

    I think I might try putting, “I have a little secret, and I’ll tell you when you get to know me a little more.”

    I’m only half-serious about that.

    On attracting married men and depressed artists

    Married men are strangely drawn to me. I’ve set a rule for myself: no more. They weren’t cheating, it was always an open marriage, and yet they all turned out to be quite close to divorce.

    I attract a lot of depressed artists and activists seeking a manic pixie dream girl to experiment with. Breakup conversations with me often include things like, “I understand myself better now, and subsequently have decided to move to Iceland.”

    Apparently dating me is a therapeutic journey.

    On becoming an accidental role model for her crushes

    I was on a little trip with my friends this weekend, and we met this guy from Central Pa. He was cute and he was nice, and I was flirting with him a little bit. Then we get back to Philly, and I got a text message from him that’s like, “You’re so cool and so amazing and so smart. You helped me realize I want to transition.”

    That’s another common occurrence: people who date me not actually being interested in me as a person, just in getting to know any trans woman, so that they can figure out if they want to transition themselves. Roughly 50% of the men I’ve dated fall into this category.

    On wanting a ‘more typical romance’

    I was raised by hippies, I’ve been trans and gender-nonconforming my whole life. All my friends are queer, poly, trans, pansexual.

    I’ve never had the choice to be in a monogamous, traditional relationship with a man. I’ve never had the choice to just be like, “This is my boyfriend. He loves me. We live together and we’re hosting a little board game night.”

    I just want a romantic relationship, like what people have. I mean, a liberal-blue-state-normal relationship. If he was having a busy workday, I’d cook him a meal. Give him a little massage.

    I’m a nontraditional person seeking normal love, and not a polycule. Because I’ve already done the polycule, and my polycule was a disaster.

    This story is part of a new series about life partners across the Philadelphia area. See other stories in the series here and here.

    If you want to share your story about who you’re navigating life with romantically or otherwise, write to lifepartners@inquirer.com. We won’t publish anything without speaking to you first.

  • Dear Abby | Friend’s living situation goes from bad to worse

    DEAR ABBY: A good friend of mine, “Louis,” has big problems. He is in his 60s, and although he’s 50% disabled, he can still work custodial jobs. His sister, “Gayle,” who lives 500 miles away, asked him to move in with her and her husband, saying they would help take care of him.

    Louis moved, not realizing his sister was a severe alcoholic. She’d come home from work, have six or eight drinks and become really belligerent with both her husband and Louis. She even gave Louis 30 days to get out of her house. He has nowhere to go because he severed ties with everyone in his prior location.

    I loaned Louis enough money to keep him from starving as he tried to find a means of support. He has applied for several custodial jobs. His brother-in-law is a great person but is not strong enough to do anything. Gayle has hit her husband on several occasions. They are at their wits’ end and need advice. Gayle refuses to seek any kind of help.

    — THERE FOR MY FRIEND IN FLORIDA

    DEAR ‘THERE’: Louis and his brother-in-law might find some support if they start attending Al-Anon or Smart Recovery meetings. Because they are dealing with a raging alcoholic, it may make them feel less isolated.

    As to what you should advise Louis about his living situation: Since he burned his bridges in the town from which he relocated and doesn’t have the funds to move out of his sister’s home, all you can do is continue to listen to him and be as supportive as you can until he finds work. Because Louis is partially disabled, he may qualify for some services and assistance in his new community. Encourage him to look into these potential options further.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law and mother-in-law are going to court against each other. My mother-in-law acknowledges that she wasn’t a good mother when her children were younger. My sister-in-law claims her mother was harassing her by dropping off gifts, notes and money on birthdays.

    Unfortunately, my fiancé and I were dragged into the middle of the situation because we were speaking with both of them prior to the court proceeding. Now, they have both cut us off! I’m pretty sure it was because we wouldn’t pick sides, but why should we have to? We love them both.

    My fiancé had a close relationship with his sister and mother. I know this is hurting him. How can I help bring their relationships back together? My sister-in-law has blocked me from all of her accounts, and if I mail a letter, I’m afraid she will accuse me of harassing her, too.

    — TOUGH POSITION IN PENNSYLVANIA

    DEAR TOUGH POSITION: There is no way you can force a reconciliation between two parties who don’t want to mend fences. You do not know whether your mother-in-law’s motive for dropping off unwanted gifts was to harass her daughter. (It may have been.) My advice is to stay firmly out of the line of fire until after that court case has been resolved.

    ** ** **

    DEAR READERS: On this day that celebrates love, I want you to know how much I value my long relationship with all of you. Wishing you all a Happy Valentine’s Day.

    — WITH LOVE, ABBY

  • Academy of Natural Sciences, Penn cancel science summer camps for the year, both citing budget constraints

    Academy of Natural Sciences, Penn cancel science summer camps for the year, both citing budget constraints

    Two university-run science summer camps that have each served Philly kids for more than two decades will not run this summer due to budget limitations.

    Academy Science Camp, run through the Academy of Natural Sciences of Drexel University, is canceling its camp for just this summer. The University of Pennsylvania’s Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology is ending its Anthropology Camp for this summer as well as “the foreseeable future,” the museum wrote on its website.

    Both camps, which offered science lessons and projects tailored to the museums’ exhibits, cited financial pressures as the catalyst behind the decision.

    Scott Cooper, president and CEO of the Academy of Natural Sciences, announced in the fall that the museum would scale back its operating days, previously Wednesday through Sunday, to only Friday through Sunday. The shortened operating schedule was an effort to stem losses from low visitation rates that have yet to rebound to pre-pandemic levels, federal funding cuts, and uncertainty in the future of donations, he wrote.

    The new truncated public schedule made continuing the summer camp, which typically runs Monday through Friday, no longer feasible, the academy wrote on its website.

    The academy plans to assess later in the year whether to run the camp in 2027, academy spokesperson Kaitlyn Kalosy said.

    Last year, the camp served 360 kids ages 5 to 12, Kalosy said. It offered museum tours, experiments, and field trips.

    “We know this may be disappointing for campers who look forward to spending their summers exploring and learning with us, and we are truly grateful for the enthusiasm they bring to the Academy each year,” the academy wrote online.

    The University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology, meanwhile, is unable to afford the cost of staff to run its camp because of a university-wide hiring freeze, it wrote on its website. The camp served about 500 kids ages 6 to 13 each summer, according to a museum spokesperson. It offered workshops, expert talks, and gallery explorations.

    “This decision was reached only after extensive discussion and careful consideration of multiple scenarios,” the museum wrote on its website. “It was not made lightly.”

    The school first ordered a hiring freeze in the spring to prepare for anticipated federal funding cuts under President Donald Trump’s administration. Last year, Penn and its centers were asked to cut 5% of certain expenses. This year, they have been asked to cut 4% on top of that. The cuts are aimed at helping the school keep up with mounting endowment taxes, legal, insurance and employee-benefit expenses, potential losses in research funding, and changes in student loan and visa programs, Penn leaders said.

  • A sneak peek inside the Franklin Institute’s new Universal theme parks experience

    A sneak peek inside the Franklin Institute’s new Universal theme parks experience

    The Franklin Institute has welcomed its newest exhibit with the world premiere of “Universal Theme Parks: The Exhibition.”

    The 18,000-square-foot exhibit — which opened Saturday — takes visitors behind the scenes of the country’s billion-dollar theme-park industry through an expansive collection of costumes, immersive photo opportunities, and park props.

    The exhibit has eight galleries, 20 interactive components, and 100 theme park-related artifacts ranging from actor show props to model roller coasters.

    Young Lachlan McMahon poses for a photo at the Franklin Institute’s newest exhibit, “Universal Theme Parks: The Exhibition,” on Thursday.

    At an early showcase Thursday, those behind the exhibit touted it as a “first-of-its-kind look” that would “[immerse] guests in the creative process that brings Universal’s most iconic experiences to life.”

    “At the institute, I think we are really a leader in bringing exhibitions that educate, but they do it while entertaining,” said Larry Dubinski, president and CEO of the Franklin Institute.

    “We wanted to create an exhibit in which we could teach some interesting things about engineering, design, jobs that are in a booming business, like theme parks, and [inspire] that curiosity and creativity.”

    Kyra Zamborsky (left) and Jade Beasley at the Franklin Institute’s new exhibit that pays homage to Universal’s theme parks, in Philadelphia, on Feb. 12, 2026.

    Among the goals of the exhibit was to package science and technology learning in an accessible way.

    “History and science and technology — these things need to be wrapped in a layer of immersion that gets today’s kids excited,” said Dan Picard, owner and chief creative officer of creative design firm MDSX. “Because they don’t want to walk through a place that’s boring. … If you do not have a vibe, you’re not going to sell tickets, you’re not going to connect with kids, and you’re not going to have a shot to create that spark that makes them curious about these topics.”

    Created in partnership between the Franklin Institute and Comcast NBCUniversal, the exhibit opens with a video featuring legendary filmmaker Steven Spielberg that uses archival footage to take visitors through the history of Universal’s theme parks.

    From there, visitors will find a collection of galleries showcasing all aspects of the theme-park universe. There is a station on the science of roller-coasters, including models of real-life coasters, as well as costumes worn by park workers.

    Among the most popular stops on Thursday was a station that allowed users to program the movements of an animatronic figure from DreamWorks Animation’s How to Train Your Dragon. (The exhibit features other Universal attractions, including Jaws, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and Jurassic World.)

    Sprinkled throughout the exhibit are video interviews with those who make Universal’s theme parks tick — from costume designers to storyboard artists and creative directors.

    “There’s so many opportunities for interactivity and creative storytelling,” said Abby Bysshe, chief experience and strategy officer at the Franklin Institute, of the draw to creating a theme park-related exhibit. “It was about kind of curating all these parts and pieces, and talking with their team members and finding ways to really highlight what makes Universal theme parks so special.”

    At the new exhibit at the Franklin Institute that pays homage to Universal’s theme parks, in Philadelphia on Feb. 12, 2026.

    “At the end of the day, our mission is to inspire and educate,” said Dubinski. “And here, people are going to be inspired, they’ll be educated — and they’ll have a great time as they go through.”

    “Universal Theme Parks: The Exhibition,” runs through Sept. 7, 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. Daytime tickets range from $41 for children to $47 for adults and include admission to the Franklin Institute.

    Evening tickets, available from Thursday through Saturday, are $25 and limited to the Universal exhibit. Tickets at fi.edu, (215) 448-1200.

  • Dear Abby | Angry wife continues to wait for husband’s apology

    DEAR ABBY: I have been married 50 years and recently remembered that my husband cheated on me with several different women. He admitted to one affair but swears he saw her only twice and they had sex only once. He says I’m imagining the other two. He hasn’t apologized for the one he admitted to and refuses to discuss it or the other two, though I can see them in my mind’s eye and feel it in my gut.

    At this point, I’m more angry about his lying than I am about something that happened decades ago. Am I wrong to want the truth so I can get angry, deal with it and then forgive him? I also want a heartfelt apology.

    — HEARTSICK IN TEXAS

    DEAR HEARTSICK: You do not need “the truth” so you can get angry. You are ALREADY as mad as heck. What you want is an apology from your cheating husband, and you aren’t going to get it. Discussing this with a licensed marriage and family therapist may help you dissipate some of your anger and move on.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: Two of my mom’s best friends ended their friendship with her after almost 50 years because of political differences. I grew up spending every holiday with these ladies and their families, in addition to summer lake and winter ski vacations and everything in between.

    One of them is my godmother, and they both were like second moms to me. Can it be that simple to act as if they were never friends in the first place? Must Mom just accept the change, or can she try to repair the friendships?

    — SAD SON IN CALIFORNIA

    DEAR SON: When political differences run so deep that close friendships are destroyed, I am sorry to say they are often not salvageable. I am not sure that time can heal the rift when someone is so entrenched in their political beliefs that they would jettison a 50-year friendship. Suggest to your mom that rather than look backward, she may try to cultivate friends who are less contentious.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: I am a 75-year-old therapist who was virtually a single parent. I still struggle with the guilt that I didn’t do a good enough job with my three grown children, despite my trying with what energy and resources I continue to have. Their father has been pretty much absent since our divorce 35 years ago.

    How can I get rid of the feeling that I am disrespected by my ungrateful adult children, and how do I stop trying to compensate them for their missing parent? There is minimal chance that they will change their attitude or beliefs at this point.

    — STRUGGLING IN NEW JERSEY

    DEAR STRUGGLING: Thank you for asking. By now you must have realized that you can’t buy love. As a psychotherapist, surely you are aware that therapists have therapists of their own (and many need this support). Because you are in pain over something you can’t change by yourself, recognize that it’s time to become proactive on your own behalf and consult one.

  • Sheetz opens its first store in Wawa land, right across from a Wawa

    Sheetz opens its first store in Wawa land, right across from a Wawa

    Sometimes Sheetz happens, and at 8:02 a.m. on Thursday it happened in Montgomery County, when the chain opened its first convenience store in what’s long been undisputed Wawa territory.

    The store — which is directly across from a Wawa on West Ridge Pike near Lewis Road in Limerick Township — opened not with a Boom Boom, but with a whisper.

    Unlike a Wawa grand opening — where fans often queue up well before the doors open and the line to get in wraps around the building — there was just David Swartz waiting outside for the opening, bundled up in his folding rocker chair.

    Swartz, 36, of Collegeville, who arrived an hour before the opening, was surprised to find himself the only one in line, as were the gaggle of Philadelphia reporters who far outnumbered him and peppered him for interviews.

    A self-identified “diehard Wawa fan,” Swartz said he came to Sheetz’s opening for the food.

    “There’s nothing you can get here that isn’t delicious,” he said. “I love Wawa but they need different stuff and that’s what Sheetz is here to do, they’re here to deliver that.”

    Slushies, plushies, and more

    Once the doors opened, folks who’d been waiting in their cars started to file in, forming a line for the coffee, which was free all day (the Wawa across the street offered free coffee on Thursday, too). Other customers explored the touch-screen menus, checked out the prepared food offerings, and browsed the aisles.

    Inside, Swartz poured himself a slushie and ordered a hot dog, nachos, and fish tacos with fries — at 8:15 a.m. He also picked up three Hello Kitty plushies for his girlfriend. Wawa, he pointed out, does not sell plushies.

    “My girlfriend is going to be very happy when I come home with these,” he said.

    Inside the store after being the first to enter, Dave Swartz of Collegeville organizes his plushie toys and frozen drink as the first Sheetz store opens in the Wawa territory Thursday in Limerick Township.

    Elsa Ortiz, 54, drove an hour from Philadelphia to pick up a hoagie (or “Subz” as they call them at Sheetz) for her boyfriend.

    “Sheetz is definitely better than Wawa for him,” she said. “Right now I’m neutral, but today I am a Sheetz girl.”

    Ortiz said the store being across from a Wawa is very on brand for the Philadelphia region.

    “The rivalry is just like Philly, with its rivalries and everything else,” she said. “Still, go Eagles! I’m still Eagles!”

    There are some rivalries you can play both sides of, and some you can’t.

    Shortly after 9 a.m., when giveaways for gift cards and Sheetz schwag began, the store became so packed with people it became a real Sheetz show and the line outside for freebies stretched down the building. The residents of the Delaware Valley may rep hard and local, but they also won’t say no to a free T-shirt.

    The expansions

    While opening a Sheetz across from an existing Wawa may seem like the new guy in town is throwing down the gauntlet, it’s actually a move taken out of Wawa’s own playbook. In 2024, when the Delaware County-based chain opened up its first store in central Pennsylvania — what was traditionally Sheetz country — it did so within eyeshot of an existing Sheetz.

    For decades, the urban lore in Pennsylvania was that there was a gentleman’s agreement regarding unspoken boundaries between Delco-based Wawa in the southeastern corner of the state and Blair County-based Sheetz, in south-central Pennsylvania.

    Amy Rudolph (seated) of Collegeville holds court with fellow grand opening patrons as she recounts her story of being #2 in line as the first Sheetz store opens in the Wawa territory Philadelphia suburbs Thursday, Feb. 12, 2026 in Limerick Township.

    But that’s all it was — lore (New Jersey has its own devil, we had to come up with something) — and as both chains began rapid expansions in the 2010s, it seemed inevitable they’d cross over to each other’s markets at some point. In fact, Wawa and Sheetz have coexisted in several markets already for some time, including right here in Pennsylvania, in Berks and Lehigh Counties, according to Wawa spokesperson Lori Bruce.

    Today, Wawa has 1,193 stores in 13 states and Washington, D.C., and more than 95 store openings planned for this year. Ten stores have gone up in central Pennsylvania in the last two years, with 40 more planned over the next five, Bruce said.

    Sheetz, meanwhile, has more than 800 stores in seven states. Previously, its closest store to Philadelphia was in Berks County, but now that it has officially moved into the Philly suburbs, it doesn’t appear it plans to slow down. Sheetz stores have been proposed in Chester County and even in Delco, at Painters Crossing shopping center in Chadds Ford, just five miles down the road from Wawa’s headquarters.

    Now that could get Sizzli.

    A rivalry?

    Representatives of both chains deny they are rivals and point out that they have worked together to support various nonprofits.

    Adam Sheetz, executive vice president of Sheetz, said it has been a friendly competition for decades.

    “They’re one of the best retailers in the country, certainly one of the best in our industry, and we have great respect for them and competing with them has just made us better over the years,” he said.

    Bruce agreed.

    “We’re fortunate to have always had a respectful and friendly relationship with the folks at Sheetz,” she said. “And, while we have always embraced healthy competition at Wawa, when we think about competitors, we tend to think about challenging ourselves to make sure we are meeting the needs of our customers and communities.”

    Folks may eat on trash cans at Wawa, but you’ll never hear Wawa officials talking trash on Sheetz. Wawa fans, on the hand, are a whole other hoagie roll.

    Craig Scott (left) of Wayne and Dave Swartz (right) of Collegeville have breakfast as the first Sheetz store opens in the Wawa territory in Limerick Township.

    The low-stakes rivalry between the stores’ fans has resulted in memes, debates, op-eds, and even a forthcoming documentary, Sheetz Vs. Wawa: The Movie.

    When news of the impending Sheetz opening spread last month, cheeky comments by Wawa fans on social media included “We are all protesting this,” “sheetz is temu wawa,” “Sheetz is fire, but Wawa is for life,” and “this is my heated rivarly [sic].””

    But local officials said they didn’t hear of any pushback on the Sheetz.

    Patrick Morroney, a Limerick Township supervisor, has never been to a Sheetz but said he’s pro-business and welcomed Sheetz opening a store in the community.

    “I think that people are going to find their niche between Wawa and Sheetz,” he said.

    Jamila Winder, chair of the Montgomery County commissioners, said she frequented Sheetz while going to Pennsylvania State University and having the company open a store in Montco is “nostalgic” for her.

    “Even though Wawa has dominance here in Montgomery County and the region, we always welcome new businesses because that creates economic drivers, job opportunities for both, and it just gives people options to choose from,” she said.

    The opening

    During his remarks at the opening ceremony, Neil Makhija, vice chair of the county commissioners, took a different approach and leaned into the playful rivalry by putting on a Wawa hat while speaking to the crowd.

    He called the opening a “complicated day” for him and many people in Southeastern Pennsylvania.

    “I thought, ‘What is happening to our community? Do we need a stronger border security policy in Montgomery County? Should we build a wall and make Delco pay for it?’” he said to laughter from the crowd. “[But] here in Montgomery County we’re welcoming, we’re inclusive, and we’re hungry and I think we’re OK with a little competition.”

  • A bald eagle laid three eggs in Lancaster County. You can watch them hatch live online.

    A bald eagle laid three eggs in Lancaster County. You can watch them hatch live online.

    Lincoln, the 26-year-old bald eagle that performs at Eagles home games and recently starred in a heartwarming Super Bowl commercial for Budweiser, isn’t the only local bird getting prominent airtime this week.

    A pair of Lancaster County bald eagles are currently the subject of a popular livestream presented by the Pennsylvania Game Commission and HDOnTap — one of two active eagles nests being livestreamed by the state at the moment.

    E-L-G-S-E-S!

    The two eagles — nicknamed “Lisa” and “Oliver” — have captured the imagination of onlookers as they preside over three eggs expected to hatch next month.

    At mid-morning Wednesday, the livestream had more than 100 live viewers. On Facebook, commenters leave by-the-hour updates on the birds’ comings and goings (“Oliver brought a nice size fish for Lisa’s dinner,“ wrote one Facebook commenter.. Last year, the Lancaster County nest alone saw nearly 700,000 viewers over the course of the year.

    It’s a popularity that Jason Beale, the game commission’s conservation education and social science chief, attributes to the bald eagle’s mythic status, its position as a national emblem, and the animals’ history of near-extinction.

    The bald eagle, in fact, has made a stunning comeback in recent years, “one of the great wildlife conservation stories in the history of both the state and the nation,” according to the Pa. Game Commission.

    In 1990, the number of known active nests in the state had dwindled to just eight. Today, that number stands at more than 300.

    The Lancaster County eagle cam is one of two livestreams of active eagles nests in the state, the locations of which are undisclosed to protect the animals and their nests. The state also operates an elk cam (1,151,559 views in 2025) and a snow goose cam (which has been a bit of a bust this year, Beale admits).

    But the eagle cam is where the interesting stuff seems to happen, says Beale.

    Once, he said, a livestream caught an eagle carrying a cat up to the nest. Another time, a turtle.

    All of it can make for good TV.

    “Generally, if you watch it for a few minutes, you’re going to see something,” Beale said.

    As for the enduring popularity of the eagle cam?

    Said Beale, “It’s happening when people are cooped up inside, they’re ready to get out in the spring, and it’s a way to connect with nature at a time when not a lot of us are connected with nature.”

    Find the Lancaster County eagles nest livestream at bit.ly/4rdfTU1.

  • Dear Abby | Old friend seeks to control the narrative about couple

    DEAR ABBY: Last year, after several years overseas, my husband and I returned stateside and moved to my hometown. It has been a lonely transition. One of my friends from school, “Skip,” has helped, but more and more, he dominates social situations by framing what people first learn about me and my husband. It is usually unflattering or one-dimensional, or he’ll include me in a one-time event story but make it sound like it was my whole life, which it isn’t.

    Skip also dominates a conversation and always has to be right. This interferes with our meeting other people, and it leaves my husband feeling alienated and even more alone. He would like to meet and have conversations with new people, but Skip doesn’t take it well when I try to explain that his behavior is stifling.

    Should I pull back, or try to broach the subject of allowing my husband and me to interact with new people without Skip framing who we are before we meet them?

    — MISREPRESENTED IN THE MIDWEST

    DEAR MISREPRESENTED: Carve out time for you and your husband to socialize independently from your old “friend,” who does not seem like much of a friend from where I’m sitting. Use that time to look into volunteering opportunities for yourself and your husband, separately if necessary, and joining other social or special interest groups. If you do, those folks will have the opportunity to meet the real you, and your husband may begin to feel less isolated. Please don’t wait to start, because if you do, your husband may become depressed from the continued social isolation.

    ** ** **

    DEAR ABBY: My husband has two grown children from his first marriage and two grandchildren. When I met him, he was still in what he described as a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage of 30 years. Because of this, his family has labeled me a home-wrecker. While his children are polite and cordial, we don’t have any kind of relationship with each other.

    My husband feels that for every holiday, we must host his children for some portion of the day, after which they can go be with their mother and other family. I don’t think I should have to open up my home and cook for people who don’t like me. Could you please provide me with some guidance?

    — LOOKING FOR WHAT’S FAIR

    DEAR LOOKING: Please consider a change in attitude. You stated that your husband’s children are polite and cordial with you. They may not dislike you as much as fear that getting too close to you might alienate their mother. Your husband should be able to invite his children into the home you share if he wishes, and the atmosphere should be as warm and welcoming as you can manage. (“Kill them with kindness.”)

    If there is a lot of work involved, your husband should help you with it if he can. If you can manage to do this, you may be able to improve the relationship you have with your stepchildren, which will benefit everyone.

  • Philly is warming up after a historic cold snap, as locals break out short sleeves and plan vacations

    Philly is warming up after a historic cold snap, as locals break out short sleeves and plan vacations

    Punxsutawney Phil may have seen his shadow, but Phillies pitchers and catchers are reporting in at the Clearwater spring training facility, and that means one thing: Warmer weather is arriving in Philadelphia.

    After the biggest snowfall in a decade and an Arctic freeze that locked in the snowpack with a tenacity rarely experienced in the region, Philadelphians can now be seen walking the streets in short sleeves, eating lunch outside, and preparing for spring staples like the Cherry Blossom Festival.

    It was only in the 40s in Philly Wednesday, but after what felt like a never-ending cold front, it might as well have been summer.

    “I can’t wait to take walks again,” said Jenny Rojas, a Korean major at the University of Pennsylvania. She and classmate Justin Lo were strolling through campus in 40-degree weather like it was a breath of fresh air after weeks of below-freezing temperatures.

    “I’m from Michigan, so this snow isn’t that bad, but the temperatures were freezing. We just stayed inside,” said Lo, a Penn economics major.

    As Philadelphians bustled through Penn’s campus, an assortment of short-sleeve T-shirts, skirts, and shorts was sported by many. Some folks’ lack of coats didn’t stop Lo and Rojas from bundling up still. And while the temperature is getting reasonable, Philadelphians are still traversing treacherously slippery sidewalks and 3-foot snow piles blocking walkways.

    The remnants are going to be slow to vanish with overnight lows below freezing, but the snowpack is decidedly showing its age and is on the run.

    The ice covering the Schuylkill River is melting on Wednesday, Feb. 11, 2026 in Philadelphia, Pa. The high on Wednesday was 46 degrees.

    Temperatures are due to cool down some Thursday and Friday with highs in the 30s, but the 40s are due back on the weekend.

    For some, like Penn administrative assistant Sheria Crawley, it was just a relief, and a surprise, to be able to finally say, “Thank God it’s 30 degrees out.” Crawley, who has lived in the city for years, said the snowstorm of 2026 is one of the worst she’s seen, not giving residents a reprieve from the cold.

    “It was brutal because we’re used to getting snow and then a warm-up right after that takes the snow away. This year, we couldn’t catch a break,” she said.

    The thing she can’t wait for most this spring is to see the “last vestige” of snow finally melt. Crawley said she would be excited then, but the severity of this storm would stick with her for years.

    “I feel like there’s going to be a mass exodus from the city to all the classic vacation spots nearby so that we can just recover from that storm,” she said.

    A cyclist travels on the Schuylkill River Trail along Kelly Drive on Wednesday, Feb. 11, 2026 in Philadelphia, Pa. The high on Wednesday was 46 degrees.

    Eirini Antonopoulou felt like a phoenix rising from the ashes after weeks cooped up inside without the sunshine.

    “Since the previous weeks have been so gloomy, I’ve been feeling kind of down,” the Penn freshman said. “It’s gorgeous out today. We have more sunlight now, so I feel more optimistic.”

    Antonopoulou’s classmate, Tyrus Roney, said he was happy to see city life returning to normal, with people stopping to chat and not bundled up, rushing to their destinations.

    “It’s just it’s so much more vibrant with people outside interacting with each other,” Roney said. “Now we just have to take care of this dirty snow on the side of the road.”

    On another day, perhaps we would mention that the region has an outside chance of seeing some fresh snow late in the weekend. That can wait; as long as it chooses.

  • Putting the Joe Frazier statue in the shadow of the Rocky statue is a low blow

    Putting the Joe Frazier statue in the shadow of the Rocky statue is a low blow

    I thought the absolute nonsense around the Rocky statue being permanently exalted to the top of the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art couldn’t be any more embarrassing for Philly. Then, the people in charge of these decisions ripped open my eyes, like Mick, to prove me wrong.

    On Wednesday, the Art Commission approved a proposal from Creative Philadelphia, the city’s office of arts and culture that maintains and preserves Philly’s art collection, to move the statue of legendary Philadelphia boxer “Smokin’” Joe Frazier from the stadium complex, where it’s been since 2014, to the base of the steps of the Art Museum.

    This would normally be a great thing — the Art Museum is in a much more prominent place in the city and Frazier deserves that honor — except that in this case, the Frazier statue is getting the Rocky statue’s leftovers. It’s a bigger smack in the face than a sucker punch in the ring.

    Creative Philadelphia didn’t think the nice little cove at the base of the Art Museum steps where the city’s Rocky statue has been displayed since 2006 was good enough for it anymore. So last month — despite an informal Inquirer poll that showed it was the last thing Philadelphians wanted — the commission approved Creative Philadelphia’s proposal to permanently move the city’s Rocky statue to the top of the steps. (There are currently three Rocky statues in Philadelphia; don’t even get me started on that.)

    A visitor poses with the Rocky statue atop the Philadelphia Museum of Arts steps.

    At the January meeting, commissioner Rebecca Segall said of the Rocky statue: “I believe it’s one of Philadelphia’s most meaningful monuments, and I believe we should just get him out of the bushes and put him up top.”

    Creative Philadelphia and the Art Commission decided “the bushes” weren’t good enough for Rocky, but will be good enough for Joe Frazier. They will put the statue of the real legendary Black boxer right there near a shipping container called the Rocky Shop that sells Sylvester Stallone-licensed products, as if it were some Black History Month consolation prize.

    I mean, c’mon! Do they even hear themselves?

    If any statue belongs at the top of the steps, it’s Frazier’s.

    I’m not the first to point out that Frazier deserves the recognition this city gives to Rocky, and if history is any indicator, I sadly won’t be the last.

    Joe Frazier poses in front of pictures from his career in an undated photo.

    In a letter of support for the move of Frazier’s statue, Mayor Cherelle L. Parker wrote that putting it at the Art Museum “affirms Philadelphia’s commitment to honoring real-life achievement alongside cultural mythology.”

    But when President Donald Trump’s administration is removing historical facts about slavery from the President’s House Site, why should mythology get top billing?

    At this time, we should not be elevating fiction in Philadelphia as the federal government is attempting to erase our facts.

    Yes, Rocky is a fictional Philadelphia icon, but Frazier, a former world heavyweight champ, was a real-life inspiration for the character, according to Creative Philadelphia, which mentioned it in its recent proposal.

    Frazier, who worked at a Philly slaughterhouse, claimed in a 2008 interview with the Guardian that he’d “go down that long rail of meat and work on my punching.”

    “That’s how [Sylvester] Stallone got the same idea for Rocky — just like he used the story about me training by running up the steps of the museum in Philly,” Frazier said. “But he never paid me for none of my past. I only got paid for a walk-on part. Rocky is a sad story for me.”

    Joe Frazier

    Frazier wasn’t just one of the inspirations for Rocky, he was one of the greatest heavyweight pugilists ever. In 1964, he won the Olympic gold medal in heavyweight boxing with a broken thumb, and in 1970, he won the world heavyweight title. Here in Philly he gave back, purchasing his own gym in North Philadelphia where he didn’t charge rent and trained a new generation of boxers who found community there.

    Putting the Rocky statue at the top of the steps is clearly designed to appeal to tourists, but those steps are not just a tourist attraction. They are the very place where Philadelphians go to celebrate and protest.

    It’s where the Eagles celebrated their Super Bowl wins and where Live 8 took place. It’s where people gathered during the protests against the murder of George Floyd in 2020 and I saw the lyrics of Woody Guthrie’s “All You Fascists” written on the steps in chalk. It will be the center stage for the nation’s 250th birthday celebrations on July Fourth, and in the center of it all will be the Rocky statue.

    The lyrics to Woody Gurthie’s “All You Fascists” written in chalk on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art in 2020.

    Did Frazier not suffer enough slings and arrows in his life that even in death, this city is choosing to exalt the fictional character he inspired over the very man himself?

    That’s a sad story for Philadelphia.

    I understand why those who love and respect Frazier wrote letters of support for his statue’s move from the sports complex to the base of the Art Museum, where it will have more visibility and more people will get a chance to learn about him.

    Visitor pose with the Rocky statue at the base of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the proposed location for Joe Frazier’s statue.

    But we can and should do so much better to honor Frazier’s story, and Philadelphia’s. It should not have taken moving the Rocky statue to the top of the steps to get Frazier’s at the base, and when it does go there later this year, it should not be overshadowed by a fictional character based, in part, on him.

    The truth — especially about Black history in this country — is too important.